Now that I have ranted about the perils of too much television—less reading, fewer homework assignments completed, diminished relationships, shortened attention spans, less intimacy (!), and more—I am ready to suggest that you enjoy watching things together! When you have “purposeful viewing,” times in which family members sit down and watch something because it was planned and intentional, as opposed to having the television on day and night, families can have great fun together.
Different family members here enjoy different types of movies. Ray, believe it or not, is a romantic comedy guy. I enjoy romantic comedies, but also love action and mystery movies. The guys like some sci-fi and classics. Three of our kids love many genres of movies—and sound like attendees of a Roger Ebert convention for weeks after going to a new release.
However, one thing that we all agree on is that there are some outstanding “oldie goldie” non-animated Disney movies. Specifically, we have a list of our family’s favorite ten that I would like to share with you. Whether you are the G-rated only kind of family, a crew of two year olds to twenty year olds, or a conoisseur of fine films, I think you, too, would enjoy the movies in this list.
So…pull the television out of the closet or uncover it in the corner of the living room (!), and enjoy our Top Ten Non-Animated Disney Oldie Goldies!
1. No Deposit, No Return (1976)—Two children at boarding school ransom themselves to safe crackers (one of whom is Don Knotts) to try to get the attention of their wealthy grandfather. Funny, clean, clever, and, what can I say, Don Knotts.
2. Pollyanna (1960)—Who doesn’t love Pollyanna? This original version is the one we love the most, with Hayley Mills, Jane Wyman, Karl Malden, and Richard Egan. It is so heartwarming—and extremely quoteable!
3. That Darn Cat (1965)—A story about bank robbers, a kidnapping, and a mischievous cat, starring Hayley Mills (from Pollyanna, a few years older now) and Dean Jones. The new one in the nineties just didn’t come close to this one!
4. The Parent Trap (1961)—Hayley Mills again, joined by “Uncle Bill” from Family Affair (Brian Keith). This is such a sweet movie (though we actually did love the remake of this several years ago)—and, of course, is where we all get the phrase “Let’s get together, yeah, yeah, yeah!”
5. The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969)—The first film in a trilogy of movies about Medfield College, this one stars Kurt Russell as a college student who becomes a “human computer” and saves the college from ruin (and from a bad guy who, of course, wants to build something else on the college grounds. It’s very late-sixties-ish, but it’s still great fun.
6. Now You See Him, Now You Don’t (1962)—The second of the Medford College series, again starring Kurt Russell as Dexter Reilly and Cesar Romero as the “bad guy.” This time, instead of becoming a computer, Russell becomes invisible through a science experiment with chemicals that went awry.
7. Swiss Family Robinson (1960)—No other version or spin-off of this that I have seen has come close to this one! When Francis gets his tiger, you just want to jump up and down and cheer!
8. Toby Tyler (1960)—This has the same little boy who played Francis in the aforementioned Swiss Family. He is a cutie! Here, a little boy joins the circus because he thinks his aunt and uncle do not want him. He gets into lots of mischief, gets tricked, learns some new skills, and more. We also enjoyed reading this book aloud a few years ago.
9. Gone Are the Dayes (1984)—This wacky comedy-melodrama was created for a Disney Channel original movie, but we thought it was great fun, nonetheless. (We tend to not enjoy made-for-tv type movies too much, but this didn’t have that feel to it.) While dining out at a Japanese restaurant, the Daye family witnesses a gangland slaying. Federal agent Mitchell persuades the Daye parents to serve as witnesses in the upcoming trial of the gang boss who ordered the hit. Mitchell then puts everyone in protective custody, a decision he comes to regret when he's forced to baby-sit the Dayes' unruly teenaged kids.
10. Davy Crockett (1955)—This was one of my guys’ favorites when they were little, starring Fess Parker and Buddy Ebsen. They can still sing a lot of the song—and every once in a while, we pull out the vcr and re-watch it. (Not sure if it’s available on dvd or not.)
Pop some corn. Slice some apples. Cut up some cheese. Have a family fun movie night!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
day thirty-seven: part III--develop strategies to curb your family's television habits
Last day of curbing television habits, honest! And to show you that I am not a fun buster, party pooper, or uncool mom, tomorrow I will give you a run down on our ten favorite “oldie goldie," non-animated Disney movies!
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much time children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (http://www.televisionturnoff.org/), lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children's Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much time children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (http://www.televisionturnoff.org/), lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children's Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
day thirty-seven: part III—develop strategies to curb your family’s television habits
Last day of curbing television habits, honest! And to show you that I am not a fun buster, party pooper, or uncool mom, tomorrow I will give you a run down on our ten favorite “oldie goldie," non-animated Disney movies!
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much tie children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (www.televisionturnoff.org) lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children's Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much tie children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (www.televisionturnoff.org) lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children's Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
day thirty-six: part II--develop strategies to curb your family's television viewing
“There are games to be played, living room football to be conquered, talks to be had, words of affirmation to be spoken, talking books to be listened to, stories to be read, lessons to be learned, foods to be cooked, lego castles to be built, crafts to be made, tales to be told, songs to be sung, and hearts to be won. Turn off the television and turn on relationships.”
Curb Your Family’s Television Viewing—Part II of III
1. When you do watch movies and television, watch it together whenever possible. This will allow you to keep tabs on what your children are seeing/hearing, but it will also create opportunities for lively discussions. We love to talk about movies that we have watched. We love to quote lines from them back and forth to each other. Watching together allows you to share the entertainment, not just passively watch shows separately. (Obviously, we cannot do this all the time. The boys were on a Hogan’s Heroes (on dvd) kick with one of their sisters. They only watched it when the four of them could all watch it together—and Ray and I seldom joined them. We didn’t have the time then to devote to watching it, and we knew that they were watching it together, so that worked out well.) It will be more of an event than an everyday occasion if certain shows or time slots are dedicated to family television watching or movie watching rather than just evening free-for-alls.
2. Declare certain days “tv-less days.” If you cannot get rid of television programming all together, the “tv-less days” seems to be the next best thing to me. Decide what evenings/days are people’s least favorite days to watch something, and make those evenings no television evenings. Cover the television up—and don’t even consider turning it on. If you manage to have three evenings a week without television, you will likely cut your family’s viewing by one third, at least. Just imagine evenings together without anything distracting everybody. (If you do this, follow our family’s “replacement” rule—if you’re going to take something away from your kids, replace it with something else. More on this below!)
3. Replace television with something else—you! Years ago we went to a parenting seminar in which the speaker told a story of a dad who wanted to get rid of his family’s television. His children balked at the idea. He told them that he was taking away the television, but giving them something else. They asked him what this something else was, and he replied, “Me!” Everyday his children would call him at work, anxiously awaiting his arrival home. “What are we going to do tonight, Daddy?” And each day he gave his children something far more valuable than television; he gave them himself. Don’t just remove television, certain nights of tv viewing, or television time without replacing it. There are games to be played, living room football to be conquered, talks to be had, words of affirmation to be spoken, talking books to be listened to, stories to be read, lessons to be learned, foods to be cooked, lego castles to be built, crafts to be made, songs to be sung, and hearts to be won. Turn off the television and turn on relationships.
Curb Your Family’s Television Viewing—Part II of III
1. When you do watch movies and television, watch it together whenever possible. This will allow you to keep tabs on what your children are seeing/hearing, but it will also create opportunities for lively discussions. We love to talk about movies that we have watched. We love to quote lines from them back and forth to each other. Watching together allows you to share the entertainment, not just passively watch shows separately. (Obviously, we cannot do this all the time. The boys were on a Hogan’s Heroes (on dvd) kick with one of their sisters. They only watched it when the four of them could all watch it together—and Ray and I seldom joined them. We didn’t have the time then to devote to watching it, and we knew that they were watching it together, so that worked out well.) It will be more of an event than an everyday occasion if certain shows or time slots are dedicated to family television watching or movie watching rather than just evening free-for-alls.
2. Declare certain days “tv-less days.” If you cannot get rid of television programming all together, the “tv-less days” seems to be the next best thing to me. Decide what evenings/days are people’s least favorite days to watch something, and make those evenings no television evenings. Cover the television up—and don’t even consider turning it on. If you manage to have three evenings a week without television, you will likely cut your family’s viewing by one third, at least. Just imagine evenings together without anything distracting everybody. (If you do this, follow our family’s “replacement” rule—if you’re going to take something away from your kids, replace it with something else. More on this below!)
3. Replace television with something else—you! Years ago we went to a parenting seminar in which the speaker told a story of a dad who wanted to get rid of his family’s television. His children balked at the idea. He told them that he was taking away the television, but giving them something else. They asked him what this something else was, and he replied, “Me!” Everyday his children would call him at work, anxiously awaiting his arrival home. “What are we going to do tonight, Daddy?” And each day he gave his children something far more valuable than television; he gave them himself. Don’t just remove television, certain nights of tv viewing, or television time without replacing it. There are games to be played, living room football to be conquered, talks to be had, words of affirmation to be spoken, talking books to be listened to, stories to be read, lessons to be learned, foods to be cooked, lego castles to be built, crafts to be made, songs to be sung, and hearts to be won. Turn off the television and turn on relationships.
day thirty-five: part I--develop strategies to curb your family’s television habits
“If you read a lot of books, you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed.” Lily Tomlin
Yesterday I talked about the best marriage (and eventually parenting) advice we ever received: not to get a television. As I said before, we are not against movies, television programs, etc. per se. We enjoy movies as a family. Each of us has a favorite television program or two that we watch on dvd sometimes. However, by not having television programming, we are controlling our viewing, rather than the viewing controlling us.
Obviously, you can have a television and still control it. I actually know a few people who have television and probably watch four or five hours a week. They are controlling it rather than it controlling them. I’m afraid this wouldn’t be the case if our family had television stations available, so we are better off without access to them.
For those who want to have more control over their television habits (and your children’s television habits), I have compiled a list of ideas that I have read, used, or heard from other families. Hopefully, you will find a help or two in this—and you will use the time you are saving with reduced television viewing to develop stronger family relationships.
Curb Your Family’s Television Viewing—Part I of III
1. Set weekly time limits. Even with the ability to only watch movies, we have had to set weekly limits through the years when it seemed that everyday someone wanted to watch a movie! We have usually had the four to six hour movie rule per week—and find that this is enough for the kids to watch a thing or two that they want on dvd (currently Monk on dvd) and a family movie or two. (This varies with kids, too. A couple of our kids really like watching movies; our three boys now went the entire month of January without watching anything, even though they were allowed to watch if they asked. Now they got a television series on dvd and have watched several hours in one week. It is the spirit of this rule—not the letter—that we try to follow. It is about being in control of your life (and teaching your kids to be in control of theirs—not about a certain number).) We balance this time out so that it is enough entertainment to enjoy being entertained, but not so much that it controls our lives.*
2. Set television days. We had a rule for over a dozen years that other than educational dvd’s (we use some teachers on cd/dvd for school), movies could only be watched on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I prefer the #1 idea as sometimes the children wanted to watch, watch, watch simply because it was the weekend.*
3. Decide ahead of time what programs/times/days the family will watch television each week. Many child development experts recommend this—and call it the “family viewing schedule.” Write these programs/times on a calendar or schedule, and only turn the television on during those times. This method provides you with conscientious, purposeful viewing—not just, “Wow, we’re home, so we should turn on the television.”
4. Cover your television or put it away unless it is purposeful viewing time. We have our television on a rolling cart in my bedroom closet. This works for us because it is not hooked up to anything to keep it in one place (i.e. cable or box, etc.). I know this might not work if you have it hooked up to receive programming, but our family loves this. We just sit in the living room and talk for hours—no television calling out to us, no “favorite programs” causing us to work around them. If you do have your television hooked up to something, you might consider having it in an armoire or other close-able cupboard. Again, the out of sight, out of mind concept works wonders, especially for younger children.
Well, I am again out of time and space. Tomorrow I will post tips for television viewing reduction for children specifically. Same bat time. Same bat channel. (I know, it gets corny two days in a row. I just couldn’t resist.)
*Note: With the ability to watch things online, watch dvd’s, stick a dvd in the laptop, etc., we have found it especially important to include all viewing in these time or day limits. Thus, the four to six hours a week includes anything they watch—unless they watch it at Grandpa’s for an overnighter or something.
Yesterday I talked about the best marriage (and eventually parenting) advice we ever received: not to get a television. As I said before, we are not against movies, television programs, etc. per se. We enjoy movies as a family. Each of us has a favorite television program or two that we watch on dvd sometimes. However, by not having television programming, we are controlling our viewing, rather than the viewing controlling us.
Obviously, you can have a television and still control it. I actually know a few people who have television and probably watch four or five hours a week. They are controlling it rather than it controlling them. I’m afraid this wouldn’t be the case if our family had television stations available, so we are better off without access to them.
For those who want to have more control over their television habits (and your children’s television habits), I have compiled a list of ideas that I have read, used, or heard from other families. Hopefully, you will find a help or two in this—and you will use the time you are saving with reduced television viewing to develop stronger family relationships.
Curb Your Family’s Television Viewing—Part I of III
1. Set weekly time limits. Even with the ability to only watch movies, we have had to set weekly limits through the years when it seemed that everyday someone wanted to watch a movie! We have usually had the four to six hour movie rule per week—and find that this is enough for the kids to watch a thing or two that they want on dvd (currently Monk on dvd) and a family movie or two. (This varies with kids, too. A couple of our kids really like watching movies; our three boys now went the entire month of January without watching anything, even though they were allowed to watch if they asked. Now they got a television series on dvd and have watched several hours in one week. It is the spirit of this rule—not the letter—that we try to follow. It is about being in control of your life (and teaching your kids to be in control of theirs—not about a certain number).) We balance this time out so that it is enough entertainment to enjoy being entertained, but not so much that it controls our lives.*
2. Set television days. We had a rule for over a dozen years that other than educational dvd’s (we use some teachers on cd/dvd for school), movies could only be watched on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I prefer the #1 idea as sometimes the children wanted to watch, watch, watch simply because it was the weekend.*
3. Decide ahead of time what programs/times/days the family will watch television each week. Many child development experts recommend this—and call it the “family viewing schedule.” Write these programs/times on a calendar or schedule, and only turn the television on during those times. This method provides you with conscientious, purposeful viewing—not just, “Wow, we’re home, so we should turn on the television.”
4. Cover your television or put it away unless it is purposeful viewing time. We have our television on a rolling cart in my bedroom closet. This works for us because it is not hooked up to anything to keep it in one place (i.e. cable or box, etc.). I know this might not work if you have it hooked up to receive programming, but our family loves this. We just sit in the living room and talk for hours—no television calling out to us, no “favorite programs” causing us to work around them. If you do have your television hooked up to something, you might consider having it in an armoire or other close-able cupboard. Again, the out of sight, out of mind concept works wonders, especially for younger children.
Well, I am again out of time and space. Tomorrow I will post tips for television viewing reduction for children specifically. Same bat time. Same bat channel. (I know, it gets corny two days in a row. I just couldn’t resist.)
*Note: With the ability to watch things online, watch dvd’s, stick a dvd in the laptop, etc., we have found it especially important to include all viewing in these time or day limits. Thus, the four to six hours a week includes anything they watch—unless they watch it at Grandpa’s for an overnighter or something.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
day thirty-four: change your television habits in order to spend time with your kids
“TV will never be a serious competitor for radio because people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn't time for it. “ from New York Times, 1939
When Ray and I speak or write about allowing more time to be with your kids (like yesterday's post), we are always asked how we have so much time for our kids, especially in light of our business and ministry. And the answer lies in not where we get the time (we all get the same amount, remember), but where we allocate the time we have been given.
Twenty-nine years ago this summer Ray and I were married in a little country church. The best marriage advice we received (and followed) has also become our best parenting advice: do not get a television. Somebody told us not to get a television set for the first year of marriage but instead spend time together, talking and getting to know one another, developing intimacy and romance. We took that advice—and have been “stationless” for most of the twenty-nine years of our family, though we did get a vcr and eventually a dvd to watch movies. (We tried getting stations one year, but didn’t like the way it dictated our evening schedule and stole time from us.)
With the advent of computers, dvd’s, vcr’s, and other electronic devices, we have other things to contend with for our attention—and our entire family loves movies—however, we have found that by not being able to get television stations (via antennae, box, cable, etc.), we have gained the most-sought-after commodity: time. The latest statistic on television viewing in America is twenty-eight hours per week, per person. Even if we and our children watch two movies a week (which is a stretch many months), we still have twenty-four more hours every week than the “average” American.
We cannot tell people that they should get rid of television as it is all bad. Nowadays, more than ever before, there are tons of good, interesting, entertaining things to watch. Educational and informative programs abound. Good movies are available at the flip of the remote. However, one thing has stayed the same: television is the greatest time robber of all things that vie for our attention.
Getting rid of television programming is not an option for most people, I realize. After all, it’s an American institution! However, I propose to you that even getting control of the television would yield you more time than you would know what to do with! And would give you literally hours each week to spend with your kids.
Consider the math for a moment. If a person is the “average” American watching twenty-eight hours a week of television, over an eighty year life, that person will have watched 13.29 YEARS of television—28 hours a week x 4 weeks x 80 years=116,480 hours….divided by 24 hours in each day equals 4,854 hours, which equals 13.29 years of twenty-four hour days. Imagine the relationships we could build with our children; imagine the things we could learn; imagine the good we could do—with even half of that time, say six and a half years—given to us. Makes me want to control my time just a little better!
Stay tuned tomorrow for “Tips on Controlling Television Rather Than Television Controlling You.” Same bat time. Same bat channel. (Some things just stay with us forever, huh?)
When Ray and I speak or write about allowing more time to be with your kids (like yesterday's post), we are always asked how we have so much time for our kids, especially in light of our business and ministry. And the answer lies in not where we get the time (we all get the same amount, remember), but where we allocate the time we have been given.
Twenty-nine years ago this summer Ray and I were married in a little country church. The best marriage advice we received (and followed) has also become our best parenting advice: do not get a television. Somebody told us not to get a television set for the first year of marriage but instead spend time together, talking and getting to know one another, developing intimacy and romance. We took that advice—and have been “stationless” for most of the twenty-nine years of our family, though we did get a vcr and eventually a dvd to watch movies. (We tried getting stations one year, but didn’t like the way it dictated our evening schedule and stole time from us.)
With the advent of computers, dvd’s, vcr’s, and other electronic devices, we have other things to contend with for our attention—and our entire family loves movies—however, we have found that by not being able to get television stations (via antennae, box, cable, etc.), we have gained the most-sought-after commodity: time. The latest statistic on television viewing in America is twenty-eight hours per week, per person. Even if we and our children watch two movies a week (which is a stretch many months), we still have twenty-four more hours every week than the “average” American.
We cannot tell people that they should get rid of television as it is all bad. Nowadays, more than ever before, there are tons of good, interesting, entertaining things to watch. Educational and informative programs abound. Good movies are available at the flip of the remote. However, one thing has stayed the same: television is the greatest time robber of all things that vie for our attention.
Getting rid of television programming is not an option for most people, I realize. After all, it’s an American institution! However, I propose to you that even getting control of the television would yield you more time than you would know what to do with! And would give you literally hours each week to spend with your kids.
Consider the math for a moment. If a person is the “average” American watching twenty-eight hours a week of television, over an eighty year life, that person will have watched 13.29 YEARS of television—28 hours a week x 4 weeks x 80 years=116,480 hours….divided by 24 hours in each day equals 4,854 hours, which equals 13.29 years of twenty-four hour days. Imagine the relationships we could build with our children; imagine the things we could learn; imagine the good we could do—with even half of that time, say six and a half years—given to us. Makes me want to control my time just a little better!
Stay tuned tomorrow for “Tips on Controlling Television Rather Than Television Controlling You.” Same bat time. Same bat channel. (Some things just stay with us forever, huh?)
Monday, February 1, 2010
day thirty-three: build “flex” time into your schedule so that you are just simply “there” for your kids
“The best inheritance a person can give to his children is a few minutes of his time each day " O. A. Battista
We have always tried to be home with our kids a few evenings a week—times that we could all just “be.” We have found that these semi-unscheduled times allow for the best conversations, character training, and heart string tying.
However, two years ago, our first daughter (and second child) moved five states away to college to work on a theology degree to add to her nursing degree. A few months later our second daughter (third child) got married. And yes, sadly, the wedding was followed by the third daughter leaving for college four states away. In a span of thirteen months, all three girls were gone. And to think that I thought I was so smart and clever by talking the first two girls into staying home and doing college locally! That plan quickly backfired when they all moved out in rapid succession!
With the departure of the first daughter, we found that simply having so many evenings a week together as a family wasn’t enough. We came to realize that our kids (especially our older kids) needed for us to be more flexible than we had been. (We have a home business and a family ministry, in addition to Ray’s full time job and homeschooling, so we often have to work in the evenings and on weekends.)
As the girls moved away, we needed more “flex” time in our schedule to talk to them on the phone, to sit down with Cami and Joseph and discuss marriage, to go to Joshua and Lisa’s and see them and be with them. Our kids, despite their “adult” ages, needed us. It was then that Ray and I looked at each other and realized that we needed “flex” time in our day—sixty minutes or more that was “flexible,” empty of anything scheduled. Time that wasn’t taken up with other things. Minutes that were just available for our kids to talk to us.
…Um….excuse me. One of the girls is calling…time for me to be “flexible” here! Smile…
Okay..I’m back. Wowsie, she is a sweet girl! We all miss her so much!
Anyway, I found that by knowing that I was going to give my kids an extra hour a day (besides the regular scheduled things that we often have with them, like family nights, work nights, read alouds, their activities, etc.), I did not feel so interrupted when I got called unexpectedly. Additionally, I sit down leisurely and call them just to chat. I know that most nights I will talk one-on-one with at least two of the grown kids and one of the boys (who are still at home). No rush. No schedule to keep. I have an hour a day for them. I am flexible….because I know my kids need me.
We have always tried to be home with our kids a few evenings a week—times that we could all just “be.” We have found that these semi-unscheduled times allow for the best conversations, character training, and heart string tying.
However, two years ago, our first daughter (and second child) moved five states away to college to work on a theology degree to add to her nursing degree. A few months later our second daughter (third child) got married. And yes, sadly, the wedding was followed by the third daughter leaving for college four states away. In a span of thirteen months, all three girls were gone. And to think that I thought I was so smart and clever by talking the first two girls into staying home and doing college locally! That plan quickly backfired when they all moved out in rapid succession!
With the departure of the first daughter, we found that simply having so many evenings a week together as a family wasn’t enough. We came to realize that our kids (especially our older kids) needed for us to be more flexible than we had been. (We have a home business and a family ministry, in addition to Ray’s full time job and homeschooling, so we often have to work in the evenings and on weekends.)
As the girls moved away, we needed more “flex” time in our schedule to talk to them on the phone, to sit down with Cami and Joseph and discuss marriage, to go to Joshua and Lisa’s and see them and be with them. Our kids, despite their “adult” ages, needed us. It was then that Ray and I looked at each other and realized that we needed “flex” time in our day—sixty minutes or more that was “flexible,” empty of anything scheduled. Time that wasn’t taken up with other things. Minutes that were just available for our kids to talk to us.
…Um….excuse me. One of the girls is calling…time for me to be “flexible” here! Smile…
Okay..I’m back. Wowsie, she is a sweet girl! We all miss her so much!
Anyway, I found that by knowing that I was going to give my kids an extra hour a day (besides the regular scheduled things that we often have with them, like family nights, work nights, read alouds, their activities, etc.), I did not feel so interrupted when I got called unexpectedly. Additionally, I sit down leisurely and call them just to chat. I know that most nights I will talk one-on-one with at least two of the grown kids and one of the boys (who are still at home). No rush. No schedule to keep. I have an hour a day for them. I am flexible….because I know my kids need me.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
day thirty-two: start young with Bible stories and lessons—product review for "the bible in pictures for little eyes"
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.
~Strickland Gillilan
The rhyme above came from one of the posters that we used to have hanging in our nursery. In the mornings when I got our babies and toddlers out of bed, I would read that rhyme to them—not so much for them, but to remind myself of the value of reading to our children. Today’s post is another review—of a toddler/preschool product that has been one of my favorites for twenty-five years!
The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes—our first picture Bible! All of our children loved this beautiful Bible story book, which was on our nursery dresser for over twenty years! They even called it “Little Eyes Bible”—“Can we read my 'Little Eyes Bible'?” Too cute!
It is written by Kenneth Taylor, the man behind The Living Bible, so those of you who were introduced to TLB as a teen and loved it during your formative years will appreciate Taylor’s love for God’s Word and his life-long pursuit to make it accessible to all ages.
Anyway, picture Bibles are plentiful out there, but this was our favorite first for several reasons: (1) the pictures were incredible (see note below); (2) it has more Bible stories than many other Bible picture books—and has unique ones that are often overlooked in preschool materials; (3) some of the longer stories are broken down, so they do not become too long yet still do not cut out too much to the point that they lose the original story line; (4) the size is compact (see note below); (5) the stories focus on the character of God; (6) questions are provided after each story that are great for promoting discussion with your children (7) the stories are short and are readable in a quick setting before bed, etc.
Now, the downsides: (1) the one that we had with our first few kids is not available anymore; it is the one that had the best pictures, in my opinion, as they were beautiful artwork; the pictures in the new one are “modern”—some people like that better but I did not; (2) the old one was a little unwieldy; it was 9 ½ x 6 ½--and was somewhat awkward since it was long horizontally—the new one is perfect in size (6 ½ x 5 ½); (3) the old one is terribly expensive unless you can find it used; the new one, however, is extremely reasonably priced.
This is the perfect Bible to begin family devotions with toddlers and preschoolers. Each story takes only minutes—add it to your rising, bedtime, or dinner routine and start a tradition of reading the Bible together each day!
Link for old one: http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Pictures-LittleEyes/dp/0802405959/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t ($64 new!)
Link for new one: http://www.lamppostpublishing.com/preschool_little_hands.htm
(under $20)
Note about story book Bibles that are “phonetic”: This Bible story book is not phonetically or vocabulary controlled. This means that it was not written specifically so a new reader could read it. There are many “early reader” Bibles out there—and they are great for early readers. However, I preferred to use those for reading practice for the child and “non-controlled” Bibles and books for me to read aloud. Using “controlled” Bibles and books means that the vocabulary will be stilted in order to try to keep it at a certain readability level. Therefore, it will not be as great as “literature” but more useful to provide reading material for first and second graders. (Watch for reviews of phonetically and vocabulary controlled Bibles in upcoming posts.)
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.
~Strickland Gillilan
The rhyme above came from one of the posters that we used to have hanging in our nursery. In the mornings when I got our babies and toddlers out of bed, I would read that rhyme to them—not so much for them, but to remind myself of the value of reading to our children. Today’s post is another review—of a toddler/preschool product that has been one of my favorites for twenty-five years!
The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes—our first picture Bible! All of our children loved this beautiful Bible story book, which was on our nursery dresser for over twenty years! They even called it “Little Eyes Bible”—“Can we read my 'Little Eyes Bible'?” Too cute!
It is written by Kenneth Taylor, the man behind The Living Bible, so those of you who were introduced to TLB as a teen and loved it during your formative years will appreciate Taylor’s love for God’s Word and his life-long pursuit to make it accessible to all ages.
Anyway, picture Bibles are plentiful out there, but this was our favorite first for several reasons: (1) the pictures were incredible (see note below); (2) it has more Bible stories than many other Bible picture books—and has unique ones that are often overlooked in preschool materials; (3) some of the longer stories are broken down, so they do not become too long yet still do not cut out too much to the point that they lose the original story line; (4) the size is compact (see note below); (5) the stories focus on the character of God; (6) questions are provided after each story that are great for promoting discussion with your children (7) the stories are short and are readable in a quick setting before bed, etc.
Now, the downsides: (1) the one that we had with our first few kids is not available anymore; it is the one that had the best pictures, in my opinion, as they were beautiful artwork; the pictures in the new one are “modern”—some people like that better but I did not; (2) the old one was a little unwieldy; it was 9 ½ x 6 ½--and was somewhat awkward since it was long horizontally—the new one is perfect in size (6 ½ x 5 ½); (3) the old one is terribly expensive unless you can find it used; the new one, however, is extremely reasonably priced.
This is the perfect Bible to begin family devotions with toddlers and preschoolers. Each story takes only minutes—add it to your rising, bedtime, or dinner routine and start a tradition of reading the Bible together each day!
Link for old one: http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Pictures-LittleEyes/dp/0802405959/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t ($64 new!)
Link for new one: http://www.lamppostpublishing.com/preschool_little_hands.htm
(under $20)
Note about story book Bibles that are “phonetic”: This Bible story book is not phonetically or vocabulary controlled. This means that it was not written specifically so a new reader could read it. There are many “early reader” Bibles out there—and they are great for early readers. However, I preferred to use those for reading practice for the child and “non-controlled” Bibles and books for me to read aloud. Using “controlled” Bibles and books means that the vocabulary will be stilted in order to try to keep it at a certain readability level. Therefore, it will not be as great as “literature” but more useful to provide reading material for first and second graders. (Watch for reviews of phonetically and vocabulary controlled Bibles in upcoming posts.)
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