day 139: raising children to serve the Lord by serving others

Yesterday I shared about our daughter’s disability ministry and the teens and tweens who volunteer there. Today I would like to share a few short tips about how we can raise children who serve the Lord by serving others. (See more on empathy training from earlier posts, as well.)


First of all, it should be noted that all of the children who come to One Heart every Thursday evening come by their own accord. We parents do not go to the Thursday evening services for the most part. All ten of us or so help with the half dozen big events that One Heart hosts (meals, banquets, Christmas deliveries, etc.—especially cooking and serving food), but for the weekly services, it is usually just the kids who go help.


Secondly, it should be noted that these twenty or so kids did not just turn twelve and decide that they wanted to dedicate every Thursday evening to those with disabilities. They were all, for lack of a better word, “groomed” for such service. People (children included) do not generally develop a servant’s heart naturally.


Here are some tips that we have found helpful in training children’s hearts in serving others:


1. It starts at home very, very early. I know you hear this all of the time, but what exactly does it mean? It means that when my child rips a toy out of another child’s hand, I don’t just jerk it away from him and tell him not to do that, but I tell him (at his level) that when he does that, it makes the other person feel bad. Empathy is the beginning of serving others. If children are not taught to understand how someone else feels, how can they develop empathy towards them?


2. It is modeled. Remember the poem on January 1st when Positive Parenting 3*6*5 began, “I Looked Into the Eyes of My Children”? If we do not show a compassion and put feet to that compassion, our children will likely not do it either. Our children have to see us taking the words of Jesus about “doing it unto the least of these” and “serving the household of faith” literally.


3. Provide opportunities to serve for our kids. I know we all do those occasional things that just feel right (and they usually are), such as short term missions, Christmas projects, raising money for a missionary, etc., but if we make service a weekly, or at least monthly, part of our children’s lives, it will become a part of who they are and what they are here for.


4. Put service ahead of other things. People often ask us questions about getting their children involved in service projects, and we often end the conversation with the parent telling us how good it sounds to get their children involved in reaching out, but there is just not time for it. I am an efficiency expert-time-priority maniac, and I have an answer for all of us who do not have time for something—we all have the same amount of time. It is how we spend it that matters. We make time for the important things in our lives—for the priorities. If we do not make time for it, then it really isn’t that important to us.


5. Verbalize our reason for being here! From our children’s earliest ages, they heard us over and over again, say any and all of the following:


a. If you see a need, try to meet it.


b. If you can meet a need, do it!


c. “To whom much is give, much is required.”


d. “He who is faithful in little things, will be given more things.”


e. “Serve those closest to you first.”


f. The true test of character is what you do when nobody is looking.


g. If you can serve your family, you can serve anybody.


h. If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be the servant of all.


i. The greatest joy comes in serving others.


j. How can you help?


k. How do you think that person feels?


l. What can you do?




The field is white unto harvest. We have the opportunity to raise laborers for the Lord. It all starts in the home.

day 138: talent show or compassion show?

I just came home from an incredible, rare evening. On the surface, it might not seem that incredible or even that rare. We attended our married daughter’s large disability ministry’s end of the year talent show. Now, a lot of community organizations and “workshop” type of programs have activities for adults with cognitive disabilities, so it isn’t unusual to see a program of some sort just for these folks.



So what was the incredible and rare part? The incredible and rare part is the part that involves twenty teens and tweens serving, loving, reaching out to, and investing in these special people, week in and week out expecting nothing in return.


A little background: Five years ago our daughter had a vision as a high school senior to start a ministry in our church for disabled people. Yes, there are those community organizations and programs for them—but they do not address the spiritual. They offer fun and sometimes even fellowship, but they do not provide spiritual teaching and sometimes, depending on the type of program, may not offer unconditional love and acceptance. Cami wanted what Joni Ereckson Tada offers through her Joni and Friends (JAF) ministry to be available at our church in Fort Wayne, Indiana. (This all started when Cami began volunteering with JAF the summer before her senior year—well, it really all started long before then, but that is a post for tomorrow!)


So, to make a long story short, she did it—at the age of seventeen. She founded, with a special education teacher as her mentor and guide, a ministry that began small and now reaches out to over a hundred cognitively disabled adults in our city every week. Now, she and her husband work tirelessly to serve these often forgotten ones.


Back to tonight—and that rare and incredible part. Cami has mostly teens and tweens as her volunteers. (It is an extremely difficult task to recruit workers in this type of ministry.) She started out with just a few kids—her siblings and their friends. She took them with her every week and taught them disability etiquette and protocol. She modeled for them how to reach out in love and concern for “the least of these.”


What I witnessed tonight was much more than a talent show—to me, it was a compassion show. I marveled as I watched young men and ladies reach out to those who are so seldomly reached out to. To teach them how to sing a song or play an instrument so that they could do a “talent” in the show. To help them up on stage, put their arm around them and tell them—“you can do it!” To laugh wildly at knock knock jokes that sometimes made no sense. (But not laugh at the men and women sharing.) To give two thumbs up as someone left the stage and longingly looked to a certain volunteer for affirmation. To hug someone who maybe hasn’t been hugged all week—yet desperately needs it.


The “clients” may have felt that it was a talent show, but I am sure it was much more than that. And I am blessed to be a part of it—and to see my children serve those who are often overlooked. And to know that my sons have learned that “it’s not all about them”—that there are hurting, needy people in our world and that we were put on this earth to serve the Lord by serving them.


Tomorrow—tips for teaching our children to serve the Lord by serving others.

day 137: "devotionals"--read aloud "faith" books for six to ten year olds

“If I had $500 to spend on everything I could use to train my preschoolers in faith, I would purchase the “Family Bible Library” and many, many picture books from Answers in Genesis. Children are inundated from earliest ages with the falsehoods of “millions of years,” etc.---we must counteract that information found in movies (even some of our favorite animated ones have references to it!), music, cartoons, museums, zoos, etc. with the truth. Picture books from Answers in Genesis can help you do that.” from an earlier post...




At this age, you will want to lengthen your faith reading time—and allow plenty of time for discussion and answering questions. On the lower end of this spectrum, your child may not be ready to sit for longer picture books or shorter chapter books, but keep trying! As an aside, any read aloud times that you instill in your children will help them to have longer attention spans in other scenarios, such as school and church.



1. Bible


a. The Bible itself! We like to read aloud from Proverbs oftentimes in the mornings. Moreover, my husband has a special time with our guys called “Bible talks” in which he and the boys just read a portion of the Bible and discuss it for a few minutes. No other books needed—just “what does this mean to you?” and “what do you think this is saying?” You might start with familiar Bible stories in the Old Testament and Jesus’ parables in the New Testament.


b. “The Picture Bible” by David C Cook—this was listed in the preschool section, but children up to age twelve or so will enjoy this comic-book style Bible. Ray read this whole Bible aloud to each child when he or she was around age four. Then we “assigned” this Bible (in bite-sized pieces each day) to each child when he or she was around age eleven or twelve to read to himself or herself for personal devotions. http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Bible-Story-Book-Ed/dp/1555139906

c. Family Bible Library—I reviewed this book earlier in the year (and suggested it for the upper end of of the three to six age group). This is a wonderful complete ten volume set of Bible stories. Read the review in full. If you have children eight and under, I highly recommend you find this set used, buy it, and use it every day. (That’s what we did! I read it to te kids when they turned four (sort of after Ray did “The Picture Bible”), then when each child became a fluent reader, between nine and eleven or so, he or she read the entire set to himself (or aloud to a little sibling). http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-nine-think-of-yourself-as.html





2. Picture books by Christian authors have character, Bible, and faith message. As I said in the preschool lists, I love using picture books to teach many things to my children—faith and Bible, counting, alphabet, science, history/geography, relationships, character, and more. Go for the lengthier ones after age six or so—and don’t forget to discuss them after reading! The books and sources below include Bible story books, catechism type books, character, and more!

a. Christianbooks.com has a search engine that allows you to look for books under age groups, gender, theme, audience, etc. You can plug in your child’s age, and a list of books appropriate for that age will pop up! Check it out at http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/easy_find?event=EBRN&N=1119138+5401+200006+4294967144&Ne=200600&Nso=1&Nu=product%2Eendeca%5Frollup&Ns=product%2Enumber%5Fsold


b. See other Max Lucado picture books: http://www.christianbook.com/a-hat-for-ivan-board-book/max-lucado/9781581346565/pd/46565/1071101320?item_code=WW&netp_id=348434&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr


c. “Kidderminster Tales” by Christopher Lane –these might be out of print, so snatch them up used ASAP! All of my children have loved these lengthy picture books that retell some of Jesus’ parables in Kidderminster with animals. They truly are extremely clever and well-done. http://www.amazon.com/Nicholas-Neighbors-Kidderminster-Kingdom-Tales/dp/0896938433/ref=pd_sim_b_1

d. “All is Well” by Frank Peretti—Peretti for young children? Yep! No angel and demon battles here, but this book tells about a family who fell on hard times and their response to that. Heartwarming. http://www.frankperetti.com/product/234.htm?parentid=1371


e. R.C. Sproul picture books are awesome at explaining difficult concepts, like forgiveness through Christ, and more. Here are two that are outstanding for this age group:


i. “The Priest with Dirty Clothes” by R.C. Sproul http://www.amazon.com/Priest-Dirty-Clothes-Timeless-Forgiveness/dp/0849914558
ii. “The King Without a Shadow” by R.C. Sproul http://www.christianbook.com/the-king-without-a-shadow/r-c-sproul/9780875527000/pd/227000?event=CFN



3. Creation science materials—


a. Answers in Genesis!


http://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/catalog/57-Years-Old,184.aspx

b. “In the Days of Noah” by Gloria Clanin http://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/product/In-the-Days-of-Noah,4339,185.aspx

c. “The Bible Discovery Collection Bible Animals”—this is the perfect age to read animal creation science books!-- by Bruce Barton, James Galvin, Michael Kendrick, Daryl Lucas, David Veerman, Neil Wilson (looks out of print, but some on Amazon) http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Animals-Discovery-Collection/dp/084231038X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273891237&sr=1-3

d. “Dinosaurs and the Bible”—also the perfect age to read dinosaur creation science books!-- by David Unfred http://www.amazon.com/Dinosaurs-Bible-David-W-Unfred/dp/0910311706

e. Answers in Genesis also has an amazing search engine that lets you search by age group. This is especially helpful in choosing creation science books because you do not want to get one with too much text for a four year old but too little text for a ten year old. The upper end of today’s age group’s suggestions can be found here http://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/catalog/811-Years-Old,185.aspx





4. Character—at this age, we continue with many of the character book listed in the upper level of the three to six year old group. We also do chapter books with stories of children doing the right thing! (More on chapter books in days to come.) However, my favorite character stories to read aloud are the “old fashioned” ones you have probably seen in doctor’s offices and other waiting rooms—“Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories.” (I actually use these from age three or four to twelve, but I forgot to put it on the list the other day!) ALL of my kids love these—and my olders still leaf through them when they see any of them lying around the house when they are visiting. They might seem pricey, but there are five hardcover books in the set. (You can probably get them much cheaper and possibly even one at a time used on ebay or other resale spots.) http://www.christianbook.com/uncle-arthurs-bedtime-stories/9780828010207/pd/545333



So many memories....

day 136: "character sketches" review--"faith" books for six to ten year olds

Today we are going to start on “faith” books for six to ten year olds. This is the age to answer all of those questions! And they have plenty of them!



They can sit for much longer than the three to six year old crowd. The vocabulary can be more extensive for this age. After all, you will be there to explain difficult concepts to them.


One of our favorite sources for all faith teaching--one that we have used for over twenty years now (and I continue to use during our three-times-a-week morning reading with my boys) is a series entitled “Character Sketches.”


It is a grab-and-go devotional tool (no prep is needed)—and children love it. Ray used to do it with our olders every morning before he went to work.


The series is a three-book set, though you may purchase them one at a time. They are large, beautiful, hard-covered books that cover various character qualities.


A character quality is introduced, then the book details an animal that does or does not show that character quality and a Bible character who did or did not show that quality.


Each animal/Bible character pair can easily be done in one week portions—covering an animal and a Bible character in a given week. Each quality begins with a one page story about an animal in which something good or bad happens to it based on its possessing or lacking in that character quality. Then it has three or four pages (large pages; the books are about 14” x 8” or so) of information about that animal, complete with pictures, maps, sketches, etc. Has a very Usborne-feel to it.


Following the few pages of animal information, a Bible story is retold in one page. The story illustrates what happened in that person’s life as a result of displaying or not displaying the quality. Then details about that Bible character follow in a manner similar to the animal.


You need to see them to really appreciate them! This is listed here under the six to ten age group, but we often had four year olds joining us for it—and my high schoolers are usually close by listening as they do other work.


I will post a link below in which you can read more and even purchase one of these amazing books. However, I will also tell you that they have been around forever—thus, they are often available used!! Even though the price is great for this sized full color book of this length, getting something gently used is sometimes even more affordable.


New: http://tfths.com/character.php

Used: Search for Character Sketches (may need to denote volume—Volume I, Volume II, or Volume III)

day 135: "devotionals"--read aloud books for ages three to six--part ii of ii

Welcome to Part II (out of II) of my listings for suggested books for “devotional” type of read alouds for little ones. We are specifically looking at the upper end of ages three to six today (yesterday we looked at the lower end of that age group). Some of the ones listed below, however, I still use with my eleven year old (and, in the case of Character Sketches, I still use with my seventeen and fifteen year olds!!!).


If you are not currently doing any type of devotional reading with your little ones, just pick a book or two from today or yesterday’s list—and do it! You can get these at the library, from the links below, or from your local Christian bookstore. At this age, you only need five to ten minutes a day to start instilling faith-building, potentially-life-long habits in your children—and help them start learning God’s Word and God’s ways early.


1. Story Bibles and story Bible sets

a. “The Picture Bible” by David C Cook—after the “Me Too” Bible stories, “The Early Reader’s Bible,” “The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes,” and “My Bible Friends,” we used this wonderful, comic-book-style Bible. Ray read this whole Bible aloud to each child when he or she was around age four. (Actually, Ray found this in a Christian bookstore thirty years ago just after we were born again as young adults. He got it and read it through himself as he said it helped him know “Bible talk” better when he knew very little about the Bible and many Bible stories. So we’ve had copies of this Bible for thirty years in our home!) http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Bible-Story-Book-Ed/dp/1555139906

b. Family Bible Library—I reviewed this book earlier in the year. This is a wonderful complete ten volume set of Bible stories. Read the review in full at the link below. If you have children eight and under, I highly recommend you find this set used, buy it, and use it every day. (That’s what we did! I read it to te kids when they turned four (sort of after Ray did “The Picture Bible”), then when each child became a fluent reader, between nine and eleven or so, he or she read the entire set to himself (or aloud to a little sibling). http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-nine-think-of-yourself-as.html



2. “Catechism” Type of Books—I love using the books listed below with my young children as they answer those questions that kids those ages often ask, “How can there be three in one?” “Where is heaven?” “Why did Jesus die?” “What is sin?” etc. You are never too young to start learning basic Bible doctrine!

a.”Big Truths for Little Kids: Teaching Your Kids to Live for God” by Susan Hunt: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1581341067/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q

b. “My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God’s Word in Little Hearts” by Susan Hunt and Evette Banek-- http://www.amazon.com/My-ABC-Bible-Verses-Hiding/dp/1581340052/ref=pd_sim_b_4#reader_1581340052

c. “Leading Little Ones to God” by Margaret Schoolland—help your little one think rightly about God from the beginning—“catechism for preschoolers”: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802851207/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q




3. Picture books by Christian authors have character, Bible, and faith messages—I love using picture books to teach many things to my children—faith and Bible, counting, alphabet, science, history/geography, relationships, character, and more. I will list a few picture books below, but most Christian bookstores have at least a small selection of picture books that teach faith, character, biblical principles, etc. Stories, of course, are outstanding teaching vehicles, as evidenced by the fact that Jesus taught so much using stories.

a. “A Hat for Ivan” by Max Lucado: http://www.christianbook.com/a-hat-for-ivan-board-book/max-lucado/9781581346565/pd/46565/1071101320?item_code=WW&netp_id=348434&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr

b. “Tale of Three Trees” by Angela Hunt http://www.christianbook.com/the-tale-of-three-trees/angela-hunt/9780745917436/pd/19014/1069491512?item_code=WW&netp_id=155456&event=ESRCN&view=details

c. “In Case You Ever Wonder”: http://www.christianbook.com/just-case-ever-wonder-board-book/max-lucado/9780849975097/pd/75093?item_code=WW&netp_id=196760&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr

d. See other Max Lucado picture books: http://www.christianbook.com/a-hat-for-ivan-board-book/max-lucado/9781581346565/pd/46565/1071101320?item_code=WW&netp_id=348434&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr

e. "My Heart, Christ’s Home Retold for Children" by Robert Boyd Munger—one of my personal favorites!!! http://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/code=3395




4. Creation science materials—If I had $500 to spend on everything I could use to train my preschoolers in faith, I would purchase the “Family Bible Library” and many, many picture books from Answers in Genesis. Children are inundated from earliest ages with the falsehoods of “millions of years,” etc.---we must counteract that information found in movies (even some of our favorite animated ones have references to it!), music, cartoons, museums, zoos, etc. with the truth. Picture books from Answers in Genesis can help you do that: http://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/catalog/57-Years-Old,184.aspx
(Btw, if I had a little over $1,000, I would do the above, then get NEST dvd’s and Your Story Hour audios. )


We’ll move on to seven to ten year olds’ resources tomorrow! Happy shopping…and reading. Just do it!!

day 134: “devotionals”--morning (or anytime!) read aloud books for three to six year olds—part i of ii

Children ages two or three to six do not need long read alouds, but you will want to start early in reading aloud to your children to build a love and attention span for it.


The books and materials I am going to list today and tomorrow are those that are especially appropriate for a devotional type of situation (“morning reading” at the Reishes). You will need to experiment with your children and the various “levels” of books. Some children as early as three years old can sit for lengthy picture books while others will only want a “quick” type of read aloud time.


The books are sort of listed by age range—youngest to oldest. Thus, the first ones listed are even appropriate for two to four year olds. I am making a few notations for the items, as well as listing authors and links.


Additionally, I am grouping them according to Bible story books, sets, picture books, prayer books, etc. Most of them are available at your library—though I admit that I own all of them (after twenty-seven years of parenting!) and recommend that you invest in a few favorites so that you can use those over and over. (Yes, I drive a $450 van, but have a library worth thousands of dollars—vehicles aren’t that important to me, but books (especially faith-teaching ones) are!)


Being the owner of a small press publishing company/small vendor of materials ourselves, I like to purchase books from small companies (especially family-owned ones) whenever possible. However, they (and we!) cannot provide all of the bells and whistles that large ones, such as Amazon, can provide. The links given for many of the materials are links to larger providers because these companies can provide the “look inside” feature, which I find especially helpful in purchasing picture books since you can actually look at a few pages and check out the text size, pictures, amount of text on each page, etc. However, if you know of a small vendor who carries these books, I encourage you to purchase from them!


Also, most of these products are available from your library. Even if you are holding these (or checking these out) from your library, you can go to one of the seller’s sites and check out the guts to see if it is appropriate for your child’s level before holding it from your library.


1. Very young Bible story books and Bibles:

a. The felt books and felt playsets continue to be good for this age group; my earlier review of this: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-one-start-young-with-bible.html

b. “Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes” (my earlier review of this is here): http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-two-start-young-with-bible.html

c. One of my favorites for two to three year olds—a set of five hardcover, fully illustrated: “My Bible Friends”: http://www.thebiblestory.com/mbf/index.php

d. One of the few early Bibles that are appropriate for reading aloud to your toddlers and having your new reader use as a reader to practice his decoding skills: “Beginner’s Bible”: http://www.beginnersbible.com/

e. Very young Bible story books—one story per book; hardcover: The “Me Too” books-- http://www.clcbookshops.com/marilyn-lashbrook_a573.html

 2. Prayers, Hymns, and Rhymes:


a. “Prayers for the Very Young Child” by Donald S. Robert (out of print, but some used ones here) http://www.abebooks.com/search/isbn/0570040515

b. “My First Hymnal”—I did this one every day for years and years with my toddlers and young preschoolers: http://www.amazon.com/o/asin/0917143353/mockerybird/ref=nosim

c. “Bible Time Nursery Rhyme”---my review is here: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-one-start-young-with-bible.html


3. Character Building Books and Stories:


a. “Child’s Book of Character Building: Growing Up in God’s World”—one of the first character teaching tools we had, and we used these for years. (Now our daughter Cami, twenty years later, uses these same books (our copies!) for her disability ministry to adults with cognitive disabilities)-- by Ron and Rebekah Coriell- http://www.amazon.com/Childs-Book-Character-Building-Growing/dp/0800754948/ref=pd_sim_b_2#reader_0800754948


c. “God’s Wisdom for Little Girls” by Jim and Elizabeth George: http://www.amazon.com/Gods-Wisdom-Little-Girls-Proverbs/dp/0736904271/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

d. “Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories” by Arthur Maxwell—okay, I have used these for twenty-seven years—and just read aloud from them with Jakie (age eleven) last week! ‘nough said! http://www.uncle-arthurs.com/


4. Creation books—many of the creation picture books are more appropriate for ages six through ten or so; however, many vendors have the “look inside” option as described above.

a. “Daddy Is There Really a God?” by John Morris http://www.christianbook.com/daddy-is-there-really-a-god/john-morris/9780890511886/pd/11888
 b. “Noah’s Ark, Noah’s Flood” by John Morris http://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/product/Noahs-Ark-Noahs-Flood,4378,184.aspx



More preschool “devotional” items tomorrow—including “older” Bible stories, creation products, and “catechism” type items!









b. “God’s Wisdom for Little Boys” by Jim and Elizabeth George: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0736908242/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q