What Is Character Training?

If Christian character is “living the way the Bible says to live (loving, kind, helpful, pure, responsible, selfless, compassionate, etc.)” and “exhibiting Christian character is fulfilling Scriptures that have to do with the Christ-following lifestyle, specifically the ‘one anothers’ of Scripture; verses dealing with how we treat people; etc,” then character training is training children to live in those ways. That is, training them to live biblically—as loving, kind, responsible, resourceful, helpful, compassionate, selfless, empathetic, wise people.

Christian character training will have as its goal to train children to become “adults who love God first, others second, and self last—and who walk this out in their daily lives.”

Why? The why is coming in the next few days.

How? Some ideas on how will follow in February. Thanks for joining us!

What is Christian Character?

Looking at Christian character from a biblical standpoint, it would be safe to say, rather simplistically, that “Christian character is living the way the Bible says to live (loving, kind, helpful, pure, responsible, selfless, compassionate, etc.).”


“’Bad’ character is living in a way opposite to what the Bible says, but similarly to what our natural man, or sin nature, (and our world most of the time) says—looking out for number one; selfish; impure; etc.).”


In this way, exhibiting Christian character is fulfilling Scriptures that have to do with the Christ-following lifestyle, specifically the “one anothers” of Scripture; verses dealing with how we treat people; etc., including, but not limited to, the following types of verses:


“ … love your neighbor as yourself … “ Mark 12:31 NJKV.


“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” Matthew 7:12 NIV.


“In love of the brethren, be tenderly affectioned one to another; in honor preferring one to another” Romans 12:10 ASV.


“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so” Proverbs 3:27 NKJV.

Thanks for joining us. Tomorrow we continue the 5 W’s of Character Training in the Christian home with “What is character training?”

What Is Character?

“Character is how you act over and over again when you think only your family is looking.”


One definition of character that shows us that character is simply qualities (good or bad) that a person exhibits is “The combination of qualities, or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another.” Thus, when we think of character, we should consider that a person could have good “qualities or features” or bad “qualities or features.”


Our personal favorite “real” definition (as opposed to the ones we make up!) is “the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life that determine his or her responses regardless of circumstances.” The last three words point to our teaching of character training in the Christian family. That is, that a person’s true character (good or bad qualities) will be revealed in various situations—and the qualities that the individual is “characterized by” (or known for) are those that are exhibited over and over again, regardless of what situation he or she finds himself in.


Of course, there are maxims for character everywhere with the popular one being “Character is what you are like when you think nobody is looking.” In our belief that character is formed within the walls of the home and in the midst of the familial relationships, our maxim differs somewhat from that one: “Character is how you act over and over again when you think only your family is looking.”


In other words, how you behave in your own home over and over again—how you treat your siblings, your children, and your spouse; what types of responses you have to the situations you find yourself in; etc., are truly what you are like. These are the qualities that you are “characterized by,” or known by (at least by those who see you when others do not).


The whole idea of being “characterized by” something is important to note in the character training of our children. When someone mentions one of my children, the qualities that he or she mentions (or at least thinks) are those qualities that my child is “characterized by.” We tell our children that they will never be perfect—and we do not expect perfection. However, they should be “characterized by” (or known by) good qualities rather than bad.


In that regard, character is “the qualities that you are ‘characterized by’ within your own home.” And the goal in Christian parenting should be to raise children who are “characterized by” exhibiting the character of Jesus Christ at home (primarily) and everywhere (eventually)—because they are first and foremost, followers of Jesus Christ.


Follow us this year for a year of character training help. Believe it or not, we really do have a year’s worth of things to say about character training! Smile…Think of it as “Character Training Workshop in Ten or Fifteen Minutes a Day”! Thanks for joining us!

Daily habit 11: Kiss your spouse for at least fifteen seconds and hug for at least thirty seconds

“It isn’t, of course, the magic of kissing for fifteen seconds or hugging for thirty seconds that makes this a good daily habit. It is the fact that a fifteen second kiss is more than a peck, and a thirty second hug is more than a passing squeeze. The “time minimums” force us to stick around a little bit, stop what we’re doing, and be close to the one we love.”

 This is a new "rule" for us (as of the 2008 original article)! Don't blush...you know that you function better in all areas when you have kissed and hugged enough! My brother-in-law, a much cooler, younger person than Ray or I, came home (along with my sister and their kids) this summer to visit following a marriage retreat. When anything got stressful for my sister, he would say (as only Uncle Leonard can), "Come here, honey. You know we didn't have our kissing and hugging yet. That's probably what's wrong." What a sweet husband!


Leonard was just stressing something that all of us married parents need to emphasize: romance can help alleviate stress, including kissing and hugging! Our kids thought our elevator kissing was unbearable already, without enduring it for a full fifteen seconds! But you know what? They secretly like it. :)


It isn’t, of course, the magic of kissing for fifteen seconds or hugging for thirty seconds that makes this a good daily habit. It is the fact that a fifteen second kiss is more than a peck, and a thirty second hug is more than a passing squeeze. The “time minimums” force us to stick around a little bit, stop what we’re doing, and be close to the one we love. Maybe there won't always be time for romance, hearts, flowers, and rainbows, but our marriage is the most important (and longest!) relationship we have on this earth. We need to protect it, nurture it, and shower it with kisses and hugs.


So….there you have it. Eleven daily habits* that make a huge difference in my home and school. I did want to add that "daily habits," for us, has always meant "more often than not." We do not beat ourselves up trying to achieve perfection. We have found through the years that if we can do those important things four days a week at least (more often than not), we will succeed over the long haul. Of course, hugging and kissing has to be 365 days a year to make me truly successful in life. Smile…




Note: To start at the beginning of the “Eleven Daily Habits for ’11,” click on the link that follows: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2011/01/eleven-daily-habits-for-11.html



***Parts of this article were written in 2008 under the title “Eight Daily Habits for ’08” and published in Training for Triumph’s homeschooling newsletter (as opposed to the “Eleven Daily Habits of ‘11” in this blog).