day eighty-seven: training through consequences and reality discipline--childishness vs willfulness day iii of iv

Once we determine that a child’s behavior is childishness, it is our job as parents to train that negative behavior out of him (at appropriate ages for inappropriate behaviors, obviously). We call this training through consequences—as opposed to the other form of corrective child training (punishment) for willfulness.


In developing appropriate consequences for undeveloped or underdeveloped character (childishness), there are two things to consider:



 1. Childishness is “thinking like a child”


In I Corinthians, Paul says that when he was a child, he thought as a child, but now that he is grown, he thinks differently (I Cor 13). To me, this tells us that children do not have the capability of thinking things through like adults have or should have. (The psychologist Piaget didn't have anything up on Paul!) That's why Jacob (age seven at the time of yesterday’s example) stops to watch the computer game when he is supposed to be unloading the dishes. It is why my fourteen year old son forgets to kennel the dog some nights. It is called childishness, and every child has it. (After all, in part, childishness what we love about them during their first four or five years!)






2. Childishness is undeveloped character

Childishness is really undeveloped character--that is why it needs trained through consequences instead of disciplined through spanking. While they are still children, we can train them through natural consequences to become less child-like (as appropriate at various ages) and more character-filled. These consequences are the very things that will likely happen to them as adults if they continue those behaviors (heaven forbid!).






One more day of childishness versus willfulness! Tomorrow we will examine reality discipline—applying appropriate consequences for poor character in a lengthy post outlining five important aspects of consequences and reality discipline.


Then we will be ready to figure out what to do with preschoolers who do not cooperate with their morning routines! Bear with us….these parenting concepts will truly make us better parents as we seek to train our children in ways that please the Lord—and that help our kids become responsible, kind, loving, character-filled adults someday.