day sixty-six: develop accountability in your parenting endeavors—part ii of ii

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24


Here are some tips for choosing/developing an accountability partner in your parenting adventure:


1. Choose someone you trust completely. If your relationship with this person develops further, you may feel the need to disclose sensitive information about your children, family situations, etc. I know that during difficult parenting times I so appreciated the fact that my parenting group was discreet and trustworthy.


2. Choose someone who is at the same stage in parenting that you are in, if possible. If you have children in similar age ranges, you might even decide to embark on some of the same types of faith training and relationship building strategies as your accountability partner. Our parenting group moms were all going through the same things at the same time—training toddlers to sign and communicate with us without throwing fits, teaching our preschoolers first time obedience, etc. It was so nice to be in a small group in which we were all trying to do the same things.


3. Choose someone who will not just let you slide by! If your accountability partner isn’t serious about his/her parenting efforts, then he or she will not have motivation to be sure that you are serious about yours. On the other hand, if your partner is serious, but is too much of a “softy” (“Oh, you didn’t do Bible time with the kids at all for the second week in a row…that’s okay…we all mess up”), then you will never realize the benefit of an accountability partner—to help you do the difficult things in your life!


4. Always be on the look out for how you can help your accountability partner to grow in his or her parenting. As Hebrews 10:24 says, we should encourage each other to do good things for God, our family, and others. Yes, if you acquire an accountability partner, you are desiring help for yourself—but remember that your partner needs the same help from you.


5. Do not make your meetings/communication too difficult to continue. With our parenting group, we met weekly as couples for two different winters. We always knew that we were going to see each other then, and it helped to know that time was coming. (We moms also called “emergency meetings” at McDonald’s with the kids in the afternoons once or twice a month!) With my prayer group of three, we always met at the same time every week, as well. Nowadays with FACEBOOK, internet, email, texting, etc, it should be easier than ever to communicate with a parenting accountability partner—possibly even reporting in every day or two as to your parenting successes.


6. Once you get an accountability partner, be extremely specific in your struggles. Verbalize a tangible goal each week that you want to meet, discuss ways to meet it, and report back the next week on it. Just like any goals, if what is shared in your accountability meetings is too vague (“I really want to do more character lessons with the kids”), they will not happen. Ask each other specifically how you are going to meet your goals for that week.


Christian parenting is the most amazing, joy-filled, rewarding thing I have ever tried to do—but it is also the most challenging, heart-wrenching, and overwhelming thing I have ever done. Don’t take it lightly. Realize the potential you have to influence your children’s entire lives—and do whatever it takes (including obtaining an accountability partner) to meet your parenting ideals.