The Best
School Year Ever!*
"Twelve Homeschooling Tips for 2012"
By Donna
Reish
*Note: This was
recently published on this blog in increments of twelve in keeping with our “Twelve
for 2012” theme (and in The Homemade News,
the newsletter of Fort Wayne Area Homeschools, in two parts). Here I have
compiled all of them in one place! Thanks for joining us.
This fall marks the beginning of our twenty-ninth year of
homeschooling! Twenty-nine years ago, with an almost-one-year-old in tow, my
husband and I began our homeschooling journey by homeschooling my
then-junior-high little sister. At that same time, we began helping those who
wanted to homeschool in Ohio (our next-door-neighbor state) but needed a
“covering” to report to according to their state law during the early eighties. I did not know much about homeschooling in
general and teaching specifically at the age of twenty-one years old (despite
an elementary education degree followed by master’s work in reading education),
but I dug in as best I could. Little did we know that this adventure would
become a way of life for us—a parenting and educational method that has brought
us countless joys, challenges, and fulfillment.
Here we are
nearly three decades later—still homeschooling and still helping others in
their homeschool endeavors. Today I bring you tips that we have discovered on
our journey—tips to make this “the best school year ever”!
1. Get Teacher Training and Support
I could go
on and on about how little support, scarce materials, and few homeschoolers
there were nearly thirty years ago—but I don’t want to be accused of describing
how we homeschooled “walking uphill five miles in waist deep snow without shoes,”
so suffice it to say that we are immensely blessed to have the support, training,
and freedoms that we have today. (For instance, we had “home visits” from the
local superintendent, principal, and social workers during our first year of
teaching my sister!)
Take
advantage of the opportunities available for training! If you are unable to
attend physical conventions, learn all you can online, in webcasts, virtual
conventions, and more. Read websites and books. However, do not get
overwhelmed! Stop reading and researching when that reading and research
becomes burdensome rather than helpful.
Additionally,
get support! We have enjoyed support groups, networking, and small parenting
groups throughout our tenure of homeschooling. One of the best things to happen
to me concerning support is the formation, nearly twenty years ago, of a little
four-mom parenting/homeschooling support group. We met with our “littles” at
McDonalds—and since I like to have a purpose for everything I do, I labeled our
group the “MAC” group—Mother’s Advisory Committee, who met at McDonalds. We
have taken parenting classes, done marriage videos with our spouses, gone
through Bible studies, completed video teaching with our entire families/kids,
field tripped, played, prayed, planned, and more.
I can’t
stress enough the importance of finding like-minded parents to take this
journey with. When one of us wondered why in the world we were doing what we
were doing (in parenting, homeschooling, or life in general), the others were
there to remind us. It wasn’t uncommon at all for one of us to call another and
say, “Okay, Josiah is still in the high chair from breakfast, and he is still
screaming and throwing his spoon. Remind me again why I shouldn’t just give him
his own way and go on with my day!”
2. Solve Discipline Problems Ahead of Time
If you have
heard us speak about parenting young children, you have probably heard us say
that we did not believe in starting “school” with a child until he was obedient
most of the time. Thus, the reason for many of our children not starting formal
education until age eight! Seriously though, the time to deal with discipline
issues is before you begin school, if at all possible.
Our theory
behind “don’t start school until the child learns to obey” is a valid one: If a
child will not sit down at the table for dinner, brush his teeth when told, or
clean his room, why do we think he will sit down and do his math, finish his
school independent list, or do his science?
This is not
to say that you will not have discipline problems as you homeschool. One of
Ray’s favorite lines about homeschooling and character problems is that “We
have the opportunity to see all of our kids’ faults and discipline problems—and
the opportunity to correct them.” Our goal before beginning formal instruction for
each new pupil was that the child was “characterized by obedience.” That is, he
was known for obedience more often than not.
Obviously,
we cannot just not do school this year if our kids are undisciplined. However,
we would have a much better year if we really zeroed in on discipline issues
and handled them as opposed to going through the motions of school while
allowing these problems to continue. There are many excellent books about
parenting to help us. There are seminars and video courses. We have the tools
available to us to learn to parent biblically and train our children in
obedience and character. (See the sidebar for some resources that we offer to
help you in the area of Christian parenting as well as a couple other
recommendations.)
SIDEBAR:
Christian Parenting Help
Reb Bradley
books and articles
Kevin Leman
books—we began with Making Children Mind
Without Losing Yours
Our
parenting seminar: Character Training
From the Heart (call to host one in your church or area—260-597-7415)
Parenting
seminar: Parenting Is Heart Work
Our
parenting blog—over 500 articles with topical index on the home page: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/
(Positive Parenting 365—also available on FaceBook)
3. Understand Learning Styles and
Readiness
My first
“homeschool purchase” for our own children twenty-eight years ago was the
complete set of audios of “Your Story Hour”—Bible, true life, character, and
history stories of the “Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue” venue. I remember clearly
running my fingers over the cassette holders, smelling them, and being so happy
to have such a quality product to help me teach Joshua. He, on the other hand,
was more interested in playing in the box that they came in. Then along came
Kayla, one of the smartest little girls I had ever seen, yet she couldn’t write
her name for years and years. Both Joshua and Kayla showed me right away what
their learning styles were—those audio cassettes, along with daily lengthy
read-aloud sessions with Mom, were their avenues for learning for many years,
for they could learn nearly anything (except how to write their names!) by
listening. Along came our third child, and if it didn’t have pictures and she
couldn’t snuggle close, her learning didn’t seem to transpire so easily. (The
exception to this is when we began getting Ken Ham audios. She was mesmerized
by his voice and wanted to listen to him every day!) Cami was anything but an
audio learner. She loved workbooks and activities—the more, the better. We
understood early on that we were homeschooling in order to provide the kind of
education that we wanted for our children—and the kind that each child needed.
Thus, we learned about learning styles and purchased materials accordingly. We
used multi-sensory materials and definitely had our non-auditory learners still
listen, but focused on their learning styles in the areas of math and reading,
especially. There is a wealth of information out there about the three primary
learning styles (auditory, visual, and kinesthetic), as well as how to
determine how your child learns best.
Along with
learning styles, we also learned early on—through my elementary education studies,
my master’s work in Reading Specialist, and then later from Dr. Raymond Moore’s
(one of the pioneers of the Christian homeschooling movement)—that readiness
does not come at the same time for all children, nor at the same time for each
gender. We learned about a phenomenon then called “Integrated Maturity Level”—the
level at which many aspects come together for a child and he or she is ready
for more formal instruction. This often takes place between the ages of seven
and ten. And we set out to wait on it for each of our children---in an effort
to make learning easier and to develop a love for learning and homeschooling in
them.
Until the
time of readiness for formal learning arrived for each child, we taught
informally, all of the time. And our kids loved school and loved learning. We
even adjusted our school to allow for late bloomers without labels:
kindergarten began when a child was six years old by September first; first
grade began when a child was seven years old by September first. No pressure—on
the children or on me. It was an absolutely blissful way to teach young
children. (It also allowed us to focus on obedience and character in those who
needed a little more time!) The research is out there! Sure, some kids learn to
read at ages four, five, or six. I think that would be fun—I’ve just never
experienced it. And that is fine. Every child is different—and remember, that
is one reason we chose this approach to education. The point isn’t to wait and
wait for formal education. The point is to do what is best for each child in
your family.
(For more information about readiness to learn
to read, check out our audios, including, “Beginning Reading Instruction.” For
more information about readiness for learning in general, start with Dr.
Raymond Moore’s book, Better Late Than
Early.)
4. Prioritize Your Life, School, and
Home
This point
is a three hour mini-seminar and audio series in itself, but I will try to
summarize it in a couple of brief paragraphs! When we began homeschooling many
years ago, even with only one little son, we found ourselves overwhelmed by
activity. Ray and I were both working on our master’s degrees. We were active
in church. We were homeschooling my sister and helping others homeschool. We
lived close to extended family who needed and wanted our attention (including
younger siblings at home). One day we sat down to solve our time and activity
dilemma, and we made a list of all of the things that could/did fill our
evenings—things we needed to do (meetings, etc.), things we should do (visit
elderly grandparents), things we wanted to do, and things that were
automatically built in (overtime, church services, etc.). When we examined our
list, the total evenings that could potentially be filled came to sixty—if we
did everything we could/should/would! Armed with that calendar and prioritizing
help from marriage and family teaching we had received, we learned how to
prioritize. We looked at the things that we wanted to say yes to—and said yes
to them. We looked at the things that we could say no to—and said no to them.
We applied the mantra that “when you say yes to something (or someone), you are
saying no to something (or someone) else.” We asked ourselves who we truly
wanted to say yes and no to—and determined early in our marriage that we did
not want to say no to our immediate family (our children and each other) just
because we were saying yes to someone else.
Specifically,
in the area of prioritizing and time management with homeschooling, when we
meet new homeschoolers, we often ask them what their days (especially mothers)
are like (before beginning homeschooling), and when the mom tells us how busy
she was with part time work, volunteering, and other obligations, we ask her
what she will cut from her day to make time (three to six hours a day,
depending on the ages and neediness of the students) to homeschool.
Homeschooling is not something that you can add onto an already full day. It
must be prioritized—and put into the schedule before other things of lesser
importance. One of the reasons that I am thankful that we started
“homeschooling” when Joshua was a toddler is that I never knew of life with
daytime hours that were not already earmarked for school. In other words, my
days have always been spent schooling. I didn’t have to add it onto other
things that I did during the day. Prioritizing school—the hours that it truly
takes to educate and oversee our kids’ education—makes a huge difference in the
success of a person’s homeschool.
5. Teach Your Children How to Learn
Homeschooling
affords us the amazing opportunity to teach our kids how to learn (among a
myriad of opportunities to teach many things!). There are many aspects of teaching
a child how to learn, one of which is working to increase our children’s
comprehension. When people have good comprehension, they can learn anything,
anywhere, anytime. There are three primary ways that we have worked to increase
our children’s comprehension: (1) Discussion with parents and those more
knowledgeable than the child; (2) Good questions following reading or
discussions; and (3) Provide a rich background of experience.
The first
two of those go hand-in-hand. Discussion of everything with our children from
very young ages has given our kids experiences in areas that they would
normally not have experiences in. It gives us the opportunity to teach all the
time—and gives them learning hooks that they create with the discussion
material to bring into other learning situations. Good questions, not just rote
questions, help the student think more deeply about subjects and allow you to
observe his thought processes and help them along. Lastly, a rich background of
experience gives your student the edge in learning any subject. Like
discussion, it gives a child more knowledge, more background, more information
to bring into future learning scenarios.
I am adding
some information about teaching children how to learn, good materials, links to
articles, etc., in the sidebar of this article for those who would like to
study this further. Just being aware of always teaching our kids how to learn,
how to study, how to research, how to further their understanding is a big step
in teaching kids how to learn. An awareness that it is our responsibility, and
we can do it gradually all the time, goes a long way.
SIDEBAR….
Tips and Links for
Teaching Children How to Learn
~Textbook previewing/study skills articles: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/search/label/study%20skills
~People often ask us what we would have done differently in our
homeschool. One of the things I would have done differently is that every
child, every year would have done a thinking skills book of some sort from the
Critical Thinking Company: http://www.criticalthinking.com/index.jsp?code=c
~Recommended program for increasing reading speed and comprehension: http://www.timberdoodle.com/SearchResults.asp?searching=Y&sort=4&search=reading%20speed%20comprehension%20&show=60&page=1
~Dozens of articles on reading instruction, readability, creating an
environment conducive to reading instruction, choosing readers, and much more! http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/search/label/reading%20instruction
6. Be Efficient in Your School Day
With six
children in school for many years (and a baby or toddler too!) , I have been on
a personal quest for efficiency in my school day! I have learned so much about
time management and efficiency through homeschooling. I will give four primary
tips for efficiency in this article, but we have many, many ideas in our audio
series, “Helps for Homeschooling Moms: Prioritizing, Organizing, and Scheduling
Your Life, School, and Home.”
First of
all, I used multi-level learning whenever possible. This included doing unit
studies for content areas (history, science, health, etc.) using a bus stop
approach to teaching. In the bus stop approach, I started out with all children
present for our studies and began with the easiest materials I used. Then as
the materials increased in difficulty or decreased in interest for the little
ones, I would “drop them off at the bus stops” (i.e. release them to go play,
have room time, do chores, etc.) and continue on with higher level material. As
the session progressed, little ones would “get off the bus” and go to other
things until at the end of the session, I was covering more challenging
material that might only interest or pertain to older ones. (We always allowed
littles to stay and learn with us while playing Legoes, etc., for the “trickle
down effect,” if the child desired!)
Secondly, I
grouped students together whenever possible. Our daughters all took high school
biology, sewing, and Spanish together—even though they were in grades six,
nine, and ten. It was efficient, and they enjoyed studying together.
Third, I
always used grading time wisely. I would sit down with the child’s English or
math and grade with him or her beside me. As I found an error, we could go over
it right there. It was teaching time at its best—teaching directly from the
student’s mistakes.
Lastly, we
made our students as responsible for their education as they could possibly be
at each age. We began early on using daily chore charts and independent school
lists. The latter were lists of tasks that each child needed to do every day by
himself in school. Thus, any silent reading, handwriting pages, cd roms, and
other activities that the child could do without Mom were listed in the order
that the student was to do it—and he could just go down the list and do it
every day without needing any input or help. This gave me the chance to work
with other kids—and I knew that everybody was busy when they were not meeting
with me.
7. Learn to Teach Like Jesus
Many years
ago we were introduced to the concept of teaching like Jesus taught. We have
since delved into that further, realizing that Jesus was not only a model of
how to teach concepts to our children, but he was also the epitome of
relationship building with people. This has helped us in our parenting and
discipling of our children in general (not just in “teaching” or
homeschooling).
One of the
things that has stuck with us the most is the concept of time in Jesus’
teaching. Jesus taught all the time! He taught Nicodemus late at night; he
taught during meals via the last supper and other “potluck” style
opportunities. This reinforced the concept in Deuteronomy 6:7 of teaching our
children all the time—as we do everything—as we live. Along the lines of
different time frames, we also noted that Jesus taught varying lengths of time.
Sometimes he taught short and straight to the point (the woman at the well).
Other times he had lengthy teaching sessions, such as the Sermon on the Mount.
Sometimes he taught so long he went right on through meal times! We, too, need
to be aware of our audience—and their time limitations, our scheduling needs,
etc.
Jesus also
used various types of teaching. This reminded us that some kids need a certain
type of instruction while others need something else. In Matthew 18:12, Jesus
asked the question, “What do you think?” This has become a common mantra for
our parenting/teaching. We have wanted to allow the kids to tell us what they
already know or what they think—and then we could build on that. Asking open
ended questions is a super method for academic training—and for heart training.
Of course,
Jesus also taught one-on-one (again, Nicodemus and the woman at the well);
small group (twelve disciples); and large group (five thousand). There have
been many things in our homeschool that were perfectly suited to one-on-one
instruction. Other things were great for small group—and we used unit studies
and other “small group” instruction situations with our kids together. Some
things were truly best suited to a larger group, such as speech and debate,
drama, and choir.
Jesus used
storytelling extensively. He used God’s word to tell stories. And he used
nature to tell stories—pearls, fish, trees, water were all object lessons. We
have taken his concept of using nature to heart. We have used animals via
Answers in Genesis materials, zoo trips, etc. We have used Character Sketches
books for twenty-nine years to teach character and Bible—half of each book is
using nature to teach character! Sometimes we just look at the snow, clouds,
stars, ocean—and an instant lesson in spiritual truth presents itself!
Jesus taught
in unusual places—which we have found extremely effective and fun—for the kids
and parents! Jesus taught in a boat, by a well, on a hillside, in a garden, on
the water, under the stars. Kids love surprises and unusual things. And we have
enjoyed providing surprises and unusual places to learn—zoos, parks, sleeping
at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central, camping out on the “bunks” at
the fort, and more have provided us with unusual and enjoyable learning
opportunities.
Lastly,
Jesus had characteristics of a superior teacher—that we homeschoolers should
model after. He knew his audience—and he taught accordingly. He was teachable,
even as a teacher: “I only do what I see my Father do.” He had his priorities
in order: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33). And he didn’t “just teach”—he discipled:
“Come ye after me” (Mark 1:17). Wow, “to be like Jesus”—to teach like Jesus!
Now that would make me a successful homeschooler!
Tip 8: Develop a Love for Learning in
Your Children
We
have entire articles and multi-part workshops on how to develop a love for
learning in your children., so writing a few paragraphs about this topic is a
challenge! (To read the many parts of a lengthy article called “Creating a Love
for Learning in Your Homeschool,” go to http://ati.iblp.org/ati/family/articles/teaching/loveforlearning/ .)
First
of all, though, I will say that a love for learning is usually not developed in
a child who is pushed to learn things for which he is not ready. Period. It just makes sense. Of course, if a child
struggles and struggles to learn to read, and we push and push day after
day—even though reading readiness has not been realized, that child will grow
to hate reading, learning, and oftentimes, school and homeschooling.
Secondly, model a love for learning for your children. Your children want to be just like
you! They might not say it. They might say just the opposite at times, but the
fact is, they want to be just like Mom and Dad.
The beginning of teaching our
children any skill is to model that
skill for them. I remember in teacher’s college when the trendy topic
was SSR—Sustained Silent Reading. The goal of SSR was to set aside ten or
fifteen minutes each school day to have every student reading. The superior
teachers were the ones who didn’t grade papers or file their nails during SSR;
they read too. The idea was that if the teacher modeled reading for her
students, they would follow her example.
The same is true for homeschooling
parents with modeling a love for
learning. Do you force-feed your children what they need to learn, but
remain stagnant in your own learning? Do you act as though you already “know it
all,” so there is nothing else for you to learn? Do you seek out information
about topics you are interested in learning more about?
Several years ago when we took a
family vacation to Disney World®, I was able to put this “modeling a
love for learning” to the test with our children. I carried (well, whoever carried the backpack
actually carried) an eight-hundred-page volume titled, The Unofficial Guide
to Disney World®. I pulled it out as we traveled to each park,
reading aloud about the best viewing spots for the afternoon parade, the worst
hamburgers in the place, and the longest time one has to wait in the
mid-morning to ride “Space Mountain.”
At first the kids teased me
merciless (okay, I did have over a hundred sticky notes of various colors and
sizes protruding from the sides of the book—you’re not allowed to highlight in
a library book), but then they began asking me what “my book” said about this
or that. Eventually, we were fighting over the book during tram, monorail, and
bus rides!
On the last night, the kids insisted
that I cover myself in sticky notes, scatter my “charts” around me (oh, I made
charts too), and have my picture taken with my precious book. They saw
firsthand how learning new information makes for a great vacation; they came to
see the method to Mom's madness—and I guarantee not one of them will ever take
their kids to Disney World without that book! Modeling a love for learning for our children works.
Tip 9: Develop a good
schedule
When
homeschooling moms hear the word “schedule,” they either cringe or celebrate.
It seems that there is a division of camps when it comes to scheduling. While
those who “celebrate” the schedule might be guilty of micro-managing their
children and maybe even putting undue pressure on them, those who ‘cringe” when
confronted with the idea of scheduling might suffer from a lack of productivity
due to their disdain for schedules.
I have
found that you do not have to have a love-hate relationship with schedules, but
rather you have to figure out which type of homeschooler you are—one who loves
schedules and wants to follow one to the letter or one who doesn’t care for
them and would do better with a looser type of schedule that still provides
some sense of structure.
If you
love schedules, then you will probably do better with a moment-by-moment, or at
least hour-by-hour one to guide your day. If you are “allergic” to schedules,
you might find a block type of schedule in which you do certain things in a
certain order during certain time periods to suit your time management style. I
used a combination of both—but always had the “block schedule” in mind for even
our toddlers all the way through high school. I divided our day up into “early
morning,” “morning,” “noontime,” “early afternoon,” “late afternoon,” “early evening,”
“dinner hour,” and “late evening.” While I might not firmly make 10:00-10:30
math for everybody, I always knew (and the kids always knew) what to expect
based on the block of time it was.
Regardless
of what type of schedule you use, there are a few key things to being
successful in homeschool scheduling. I will leave you with a few of these: (a)
Change the schedule every few months as needed, based on the ages of your
children; (b) Write the schedule out and “advertise” it for everybody in your
family to see all the time; and (c) Attach things that are really important to
you to things that are already in your schedule.
(a) Change the schedule as needed. I
found especially with little ones that I needed to change the schedule to
adjust to their needs and my availability. When I had littles, I actually
revised the schedule every season—based on how long the baby was nursing at
that time; how long the toddler napped; who could do which chores now; who
needed longer blocks of school meetings with me; etc. I wasn’t locked into the
exact same schedule for the entire school year, but I changed it as the
children changed throughout the year.
(b) Write the schedule and “advertise”
it. I posted our schedules on the refrigerator, in the fronts of the kids’
binders, on their lesson plan/check sheets, etc., so that everybody could
always look and see what was supposed to be happening in our day at a certain
time. The lunch person always knew what time he or she was supposed to be in
the kitchen; the laundry person always knew what time laundry was to be done
each day. By “publishing” the schedule for all to see, I made it more
official—and I could even get Dad involved in helping me enforce it if I had a true,
posted schedule.
(c) Attach important things to things that are already
in your schedule. We learned this trick (along with dozens of others) from
Gregg Harris twenty-five years ago—and have used it every year since then. He
said that if something is really important to you to do in your family, attach
that activity to an existing one. For instance, if reading aloud to your
children is something you really want in your schedule, attach it to breakfast,
lunch, or bedtime—times that are already established in your home. We did this
with many, many things—attaching things to existing things until our
attachments had attachments attached to them—and our day was one big
attachment! J
Tip 10: Make your
marriage as strong as possible
While I
know that there are many single homeschooling parents out there, and I applaud
them for they are truly courageous (and oftentimes extremely self-sacrificing
to give up income and time on another whole level than we married homeschoolers
even do), I also know that if you are married and homeschooling, it is tough,
tough, tough to “do it all” with conflict between Mom and Dad.
We have
had such outstanding marriage teaching in our thirty-one –plus years of
marriage that I cannot imagine our marriage without them. We are grateful,
together, nearly weekly, for the foundations in marriage and selflessness that
were built within us through our mentors and seminars during our early years
together.
While a
short tip like this is not the place to solve marital discord, I can take this
opportunity to encourage you to seek out help to solve any significant marriage
problems. Parenting in general, and homeschooling specifically, are hard on a
marriage—so many demands, so many needs. We have had low times in our
relationship just like anybody else, but we always fought (together!) for our
marriage. We always got help. We always surrendered our own wants to the other
eventually.
In
homeschooling, a united marriage is more crucial than ever. There are more
decisions to be made every single week in a homeschool family than if someone
else is taking care of your children’s education (and all daytime needs) for
you. Try to set aside time to talk about those decisions, child discipline,
schedules, attitudes, spiritual growth, and more. It isn’t easy, but your kids
are worth it—and your marriage is worth it.
If you
have marriage difficulties that cannot be solved simply by talking through them
or reading a book, we recommend that you run, not walk, to get help. We have
heard amazing reports about “A Weekend to Remember” (marriage seminars by
FamilyLIfe by Dennis Rainey). One of the best marriage seminars we have ever
been to (and we have been to tons of workshops, sessions, seminars, etc.) was
by Dr. Sharon Hart May (author of “How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen”).
She truly understands people in general and couples specifically. (She does
weekend seminars and has private, lengthy counseling sessions at a few
locations around the country.)
Tip 11:
Learn to Be Organized
While I
like to cut people slack whenever possible, it feels like we homeschoolers have
become too lax sometimes. Yes, there will be “those days”; however, just like
in parenting in general, when we have more of “those days” than we do true
learning days, we might be in danger of becoming too laid back. One of the best
ways to ensure that we are getting the things done that we need to get done is
to get organized.
Organization,
much like scheduling, often falls into two camps—those who know/think they are
and those who know they are not (and often feel that they can never become
so). Running a homeschool (and even
running a family, in many ways) is much like running a business. A company runs
better when it is organized, and so does
our homeschool.
We all
have areas in which we are more organized than others; we all have things that
we can seem to keep running smoothly—and those things that just seem to elude
us when we try to get organized. A big
part of organization is being able to prioritize, delegate, and get rid of (not
have in our lives). What I have found—and what I continually tell my grown children—is
that you cannot do everything in life well all at the same time. It is
unrealistic (and defeating) to think you can “do it all” and do it well. This
is why so many people (and I do this still sometimes even though I know the
truth!) say, “I can keep good meals on the table and school running well, but
as soon as XXX starts (soccer, 4-H, farming season…whatever), it all falls
apart. Time is a simple mathematical formula—and too much activity or too many
things in the schedule over a twenty-four hour period will use up the time—and
leave you with a time deficit, and, in turn, that feeling that “I just can’t do
it all.” Because truly, you (and I) cannot.
Since
we often speak on time management, prioritizing, organizing, and scheduling,
people automatically think I am extremely organized—which I am—in the areas
that I am able to handle. My mom used to tell me that I am the most
disorganized organized person that she has ever known, proving what I said
above. I cannot do it all (and I never act like I can—I just skip the things I
can’t do; it’s just the way it is); thus, the areas that I am running (i.e.
keeping the plates going) are fairly well run and organized. The areas that I
have chosen to eliminate or ignore are neither well run nor organized. For
example, we have four adults/teens in two bedrooms upstairs in a small house. I
don’t have the time or money to organize it, get more dressers and closets,
etc., so I simply do not go upstairs. I’m sure it is a disaster up there, but
that’s okay…in order to be organized and prioritized in the other areas that I
can handle, some other things have to just be okay even if they are far from
perfect.
In
summary, and for the purposes of this short article, prioritizing is the first
step to organization—getting your life down to the truly important things to
you and your spouse and ridding your life of the lesser things (at least lesser
to you—some people could never handle knowing the two bedrooms upstairs are
disastrous!). Then you have a shot at being organized. Then you have a chance
at managing the remaining time and energy needs for your family. For me, I am
happier, and feel much more organized, when I pare down my life to a certain
number of hours a day in school, work, housework, work, relationships,
parenting, cooking, etc. If I try to put more in my life than what the
mathematical time formula allots me, I cannot be organized, but only
frustrated.
Once
you have pared down your life to the things that are the most crucial things,
then you can apply all sorts of organizing techniques to it, such as scheduling
(see above), chore sessions, tutoring sessions of meeting with your children on
their subjects, managing block schedules so that everybody knows what is up
during that time period, and much more.
Tip 12: Have
Fun and Enjoy Your Children
I know there are so many pressures,
needs, and responsibilities in homeschooling, so much so, that it makes it
difficult sometimes to enjoy the process. I have few regrets in our life of
homeschooling and method of parenting. Oh, there are always some, but not a
ton, and I’m so grateful for that. One of the things I do regret is spending so
much time on living (i.e. always feeling the need to cook homemade, garage sale
organize clothing into huge tubs, make just one more dish for company, and
more). There are many of those things that I couldn’t change. As most of you
know, living on one income with several children usually forces us to have to
spend a lot of time on the areas of cooking, clothing, etc., in order to save
money. However, sometimes I put so much pressure on myself to do this or that
(and oftentimes it was to meet others’ expectations, I’m afraid) that I
stressed myself and my children out. A stressed homeschooling mother does not
enjoy homeschooling!
So my advice to enjoy homeschooling
is to not sweat the little things (doing everything perfectly, trying to do
extra things that are not truly needed, etc.) and focus instead on the big
things. The big things, to me, are the spiritual growth of my children, our
relationships, their health and well being, and their education. If I could
garage sale enough to clothe everybody all winter or can enough green beans to
last us until spring---and do the “big” things—power to me. But if not, I wish
I had let the lesser things go sometimes.
Organizing, disciplining our
children in love, developing deep relationships with our kids, having a
schedule that works for our family, prioritizing the most important things to
us, creating a love for learning in our children, keeping our marriage strong—these
things can help you to have “the best school year ever”—and that is my prayer
for you.
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