day seventy-nine: parents determine preschooler’s schedule based on preschooler’s needs and family dynamics

“I got up early this morning—Mom said she barely had her eyes open—and got sent back to bed with books FOR HOURS!”       from “Jonathan’s Journal”


One of the most important concepts about scheduling a preschooler’s day is that the parents are the ones who should schedule it—not the preschooler. In our “feel good; let children be” society today, we often put too much emphasis on what the child wants to do or thinks he needs to do—and not enough on the fact that parents are wiser and more discerning than the child—and probably know his needs better than he does. This is not to say that we did not consider our preschoolers likes/dislikes/wishes as appropriate, but we did realize very early in our parenting that our children are given to us because they need someone older, wiser, and more experienced to guide them through the early part of their lives. We would all do well to remember this the next time we find ourselves trying to reason with/beg/cajole a child to put on his coat to leave the store. We ARE the parents—for a good reason.


In the opening line of “Jonathan’s Journal,” we find our sweet, sweet Jonathan going back to bed with books for HOURS! We had a family rule that children did not (a) choose when they would go to bed or (b) choose when they would get out of bed. Obviously, a child is not mature enough to decide how much sleep he needs or when he needs it; likewise, a child in our home never decided to get out of bed at five a.m. and do as he pleased.


There are dangers in a preschooler/toddler running around the house unsupervised. Additionally, we always based the children’s rising (i.e. when they could get out of bed) on our family’s needs. As much as we adored our preschoolers, we always taught our children to consider other people’s needs too. Mom often had babies and toddlers to tend to. Dad was often up in the morning with older children, teaching and discipling them. Thus, our preschoolers (and toddlers) stayed in their beds until they were told to get up. As in the story above, when the child was awake earlier, he could look at books in his bed, or more often than not, listen to talking books and story tapes, as he waited for time to get up.


There are key times that you will notice in Jonathan’s day as we progress through this series. These include the following:

a. Rising time


b. Meal times


c. Play times


d. Structured times (i.e. story time, read aloud, specific play times, time with siblings, time with parents, etc.)


e. Unstructured times (free play, outdoor time, etc.)


f. Bed time




You might wonder if it is really necessary to structure a preschooler’s day as much as we did Jonathan’s (and his siblings). The answer to that is yes and no. Obviously, we had six other children of various ages to consider. In our case, the structure of Jonathan’s day was simply a carry over of the structure of all of our days. Everybody had structured days, to a certain extent. (We homeschool, but we do not have an eight to nine math; nine to ten reading, etc. necessarily; however, we do have blocks of time that are devoted to independent work, working with Mom, chores, etc.)


If your preschooler is the oldest one in the family, that much structure might not be necessary. However, children thrive on consistency and predictability. Thus, I recommend as much structuring as you are comfortable with and that works for your family.


Tomorrow we will look at maintaining a schedule in our hurried world and a preschooler’s obedience and contentment. We have a jam-packed two weeks planned—so tune in often.