day forty-nine: teach your kids as you drive

“You don’t understand anything until you learn it more than one way.”
            Marvin Minsky


Yesterday I talked about the importance of taking a child (“whoever has shoes on”) with you one-on-one when you go to run errands, etc. I focused on the spiritual, communicative, and emotional aspects of spending time with our children in that context. However, besides those areas, riding in the car with Mom or Dad is the perfect time to learn…well, anything.


During those times that we are not having heart talks, or the times when multiple children are along, we love to teach our children as we drive. It really isn’t difficult—it just takes looking at this “down, often-unused” time in a new way. Every moment with our children is a potential teachable moment—we just have to look at them as such.


Here are a few ways to teach and talk as we drive:


1. Discuss what we have heard or read. This one is a biggie with two or more children in the vehicle with us at one time. Everyone has read a book, skimmed a forward, saw the headlines on Yahoo, listened to a sermon, heard a talking book, etc. most everyday here at our house. And all of these things are potential talking topics. It is rare for one of the kids not to ask a question or tell us about what he has read or heard anytime we are in the vehicle together. If he doesn’t, we have tons of topics to bring up: what did you learn today; what are you reading; how did the pastor’s sermon speak to you; etc. etc.


2. Listen together. We love to read aloud when we travel (more on this later!) and listen to radio dramas, speakers, and audio books anytime we are driving and not talking. Of course, listening together usually leads to discussion—and more discussion.


3. Talk about the people you see. I discussed this in an early January post—bringing hurting people to our children’s attention when we are out and about. In addition to teaching empathy, this kind of discussion also lends itself well to talking about choices, relationships, etc. When we see somebody lewdly dressed along the street, we discuss the importance of not putting those pictures in our minds, but looking away instead. When we see kids along the street fighting, we discuss the importance of anger management and conflict resolution. When we see a parent mistreating a child, we discuss parenting and the importance of handling behavior problems early—and correctly—to keep from lashing out in anger later.


4. Talk about what you see along the road. This is obviously wide open. A house being built lends itself to discussion about (1) buying something that is in your price range; (2) building a house in the country vs in town; on small acreage vs large acreage; (3) your dream house; (4) rooms and possessions that build family unity or increase family fun. Workers along the side of the road lend themselves to discussing (1) the fines for speeding in a road construction zone; (2) the amount of sun (and Vitamin D) a road worker would get in the summer; (3) jobs that are out in the heat vs jobs that are inside. Get the idea? There are dozens of topics to discuss in everything we see as we drive!


5. Talk about driving, safety, road signs, and more. This is obvious, yet often overlooked. We teach our children’s driver’s training classes ourselves, so we work hard at teaching “on the road,” discussing driving rules, defensive driving, decision making, etc. as we are out and about. But even if your children take driver’s training elsewhere, you can still augment that training when you are on the road. Right when something occurs is the best time to teach. When someone pulls out in front of you is the perfect time to talk about right-of-way and defensive driving. When there is no green arrow is the ideal time to discuss knowing when you can turn left.


Talking and teaching while you drive. It just makes sense. And for those of us who believe the quote at the beginning of this post, it makes even more sense. Discussions while driving afford us another opportunity to teach everything from driving, to life skills, to spiritual application, to relationship development, helping our children understand more as they “learn more than one way.”