Showing posts with label seminars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seminars. Show all posts

Monday, August 5, 2013

Discipline: Punishment/Chastisement VS Consequences/Reality Discipline

It has been important to us in our child training that we understand (or at least try to understand!) the difference between foolishness (willfulness) and childishness (underdeveloped character). The differences between these two types of behaviors in children are crucial in disciplining properly. This is truly one of the biggest mistakes that we see parents make. For example:

(1) A child who spilled his milk at the table is disciplined in the same manner as he was earlier in the day when he struck his brother

(2) A child who forgot to shut the door and the dog got in the house is disciplined in the same manner as he was when he talked back to his mother

(3) A child who didn't thoroughly clean his room is disciplined in the same manner as he was earlier when he lied to his dad about using one of this tools

In our child training, Ray and I have tried to determine whether a behavior was rebellion against us (as in outright disobedience or disrespect) or childishness (as in forgetfulness, procrastination, sloppiness, etc.):




1. Foolishness


   a. Rebellion


   b. Disobedience


   c. Disrespect

  d. Lying

2. Childishness


   a. Undeveloped or underdeveloped character


   b. Forgetfulness, procrastination, irresponsibility, etc.


   c. May turn into “foolishness” if left unattended




We do this because disobedience requires biblical discipline whereas childishness requires the second aspect of child training we have used: reality discipline (or consequences). 

I like what an attendee at a recent seminar told us that she heard about this topic: Punishment is only for the Four D's:

1. Disobedience (i.e. not forgetfulness or overlooking routine at first)

2. Disrespect (i.e. direct disrespect to parents or those in authority--not disagreeing with you respectfully or having their own thoughts!)

3. Deceit (lying, stealing, telling half truths, etc.)

4. Destruction (purposely hurting things or people)

                            Which Behavior Is This? 

Discerning between disobedience and childishness can be so difficult! Even after nearly thirty-one years of parenting, Ray and I still continuously ask each other which behavior a child is displaying. 

Difficult or not, we must do it. The Bible says that we are not to exasperate our children. Two sure ways to exasperate them are to punish incorrectly, as in anger, etc., and to punish something as disobedience, when we should be training through consequences.

 All parents are faced with this. A child dawdles when we call him to come get ready for bed, and we wonder whether this is just childishness or if it is real disobedience. When our son leaves the dog out of the kennel for the third night in a row, and the pooch potties on the new carpet, we ask ourselves if our little guy is disobeying or forgetting. 


In a nutshell , if a child is disobedient, disrespectful, or rebellious, we have a heart issue—and a serious discipline problem that needs handled in a serious manner—and quickly. That is, the Four D's need punishment/chastisement, not consequences or reality discipline.

If a child is forgetful, slow, unreliable, etc. (especially a younger child), it is usually childishness—and we can “train” that undeveloped or underdeveloped childishness out of a child through consequences and reality discipline.

Besides disciplining these two types of behaviors correctly, we also need to watch our response to these behaviors. Simply put, not putting the hose back in the garage after the child watered the garden should not be met with the same response by the parent as lying about putting the hose back in the garage!

It is like responding to a child's red streak in her hair in the same way as we do if that child uses God's name in vain. There is simply no comparison. And the same should be true in our response to childishness vs one of the Four D's.

For more information on this, please check out Discipline at our blog--or host a Raising Kids With Character seminar in your church or parenting group or homeschooling group. (Our RKWC seminar is a Christian parenting seminar for all Christian parents as opposed to our homeschooling workshops that we do for homeschool groups. All parents, homeschooling or not, can benefit from Raising Kids With Character!)


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Character Training for Toddlers and Preschoolers--Boundaries, Simple Tastes, and More (partial reprint)






With the closeness of two of our parenting seminars in Indiana and the extremely high interest in training toddlers and preschoolers in character and obedience, I decided to re-run parts of two past posts today. Scroll all the way to the bottom for some other links, as well! And share our blog and FaceBook page with others who might be interested in learning about how to enjoy those years more than ever--from a Christian couple who LOVED ages two to six! Smile...


Question: How can I start some of the character training concepts and habits that you describe with a toddler?


Answer: If you are just starting out with your family and have only a toddler, you have the perfect opportunity to start out right in the character training of your children! I will offer some general tips below, but even more importantly than the “daily ins and outs” of the ideas I recommend, I suggest that you read Parenting Paradigms at this blog (soon to become "Character Training From the Heart"). Even if you take to heart some of the ideas for your little one given in this Q and A, in the end, you will be more successful at character training if you have a firm handle on what you believe about parenting and children.



                                        Toddler Character Training Tips



1. Start adapting the toddler to your schedule and your family’s lifestyle as soon as you can (six to nine months) rather than making your family’s life revolve around the little one’s “wants.” You want to enjoy your toddler within the dynamics that your family already has (with the addition of the joy and wonder that a toddler brings into the family, of course)—as opposed to making everything change to meet unnecessary and often chaotic demands that a toddler who is given his own way all the time can often make.(Check out our important material on discerning wants vs. needs. ALWAYS meet needs--in a timely, loving, and consistent way!)



2. Remember that you are setting the stage right now for your child’s “tastes” (follow us on PP 365 or schedule our seminar for more details about this important concept).

a. You can set his tastes for defiance (allowing screaming, throwing, thrashing, and “no” from him) or submission.

b. You can set his tastes for selfishness and meanness (allowing hitting or other forms of striking, giving in to him when he wants something that someone else has, always making his surroundings whatever he wants (i.e. no bedtime, no sitting in high chair, etc.) due to “fits” or for kindness, gentleness, sweetness, and tenderness.

c. You can set his tastes for hyper-stimulation and activity (too much running; no scheduled down times; television and videos all the time) or for simple things (books, healthy toys, rest, etc.).

d. You can set his tastes to lack focus and not enjoy learning (again, too much video, not starting out with books and simple music; an avalanche of cartoons and children’s programming (some of which are developed in two second bits to keep up with short attention spans, thus, causing kids’ attention spans not to lengthen as they should) or a love for learning (via books, strong family learning, and discussion times, etc.).



3. Decide ahead of time what your “behavior absolutes” are.

a. These are the behaviors or character that you absolutely will not allow in your home. What you allow now will become the “acceptable behaviors” to your child. These seemingly innocent actions include “fibbing,” hitting, running the other way when called, etc.

b. For us, these “behavior absolutes” included talking back (no toddler saying “no” without being punished); lying or deceit; temper tantrums; and striking (hitting, pulling hair, throwing things at someone, etc.). Obviously, we wanted our kids to learn to obey and submit to us and to learn the many character qualities that are crucial to living a Christian life, but these four things were things we never wavered on—and things that we made huge deals out of when they were not adhered to by the toddler/preschooler.

4. Start showing your little one the joy of doing what is right. Contentment in your own life, the blessing of work, the joy of loving God and His people—and all of the character that you want your little one to adopt in his life—love, longsuffering, diligence, responsibility, and more will more likely be realized in our kids’ lives when we ourselves embrace and model them.

5. Try to establish routines that will aid in his character development—bedtimes, rising times, little “chores” (putting his books in his book basket after you read), nap times, meal times, story time, etc.



For more tips on toddlers and babies, click on the links provided below:



Who makes the decisions for the children—starts here and goes for a few days: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/10/day-260-who-makes-decisions-for.html




Say what you mean—starts here and goes for two days: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-248-dont-leave-your-little-one-at.html






Storytime: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/07/day-204-story-time.html

Friday, July 1, 2011

Training for Triumph/Positive Parenting Has Many Services and Materials for Families


Training for Triumph, a ministry and publishing company by Ray and Donna Reish, offer many services to the homeschooling community.  TFT has been in operation formally for six years (though informally for many years prior to that). Check out the services we offer below!


Training for Triumph Cottage Classes

          We offer cottage classes for homeschoolers grades two through twelve in up to three FW-area locations (and sometimes other locations as well, upon request). We offer complete language arts classes for all levels, writing classes for many levels, speech and debate, history, high school sciences, and more! Check out our offerings for the coming year at http://www.tfths.com/classes.php .

Training for Triumph Correspondence Classes
    All of our Meaningful Composition books are available for use in our correspondence writing program. In this program, you choose the book (from our site--see samples) that you want your child to do, register for "correspondence," and we send the syllabus, class schedule, etc.--and each week for sixteen weeks your student mails his assignments to TFT teachers who in turn, grade everything and make audio cd's of their remarks and helps. Students grow in leaps and bounds in their writing with this approach! Check it out at http://www.tfths.com/corclass.php


Training for Triumph Speakers
    We offer at least three (and oftentimes more) speakers on over fifty topics pertaining to homeschooling, parenting, teaching, marriage, and more. We can tailor make a workshop or seminar for your group or speak to living room groups in the area. Check out our many speaking topics at http://www.tfths.com/speaking.php


Training for Triumph Writing Workshops
    We offer a general language arts workshop (The Almost Three R’s) as well as SAT preparation, creative writing, composition-only, and much more. Again, we can tailor a seminar or workshop to your group. http://www.tfths.com/speaking.php#law


Positive Parenting
         We have a Christian parenting blog that has literally hundreds of posts on topics pertaining to the Christian family. If you have heard us speak and are interested in knowing more about a topic, check out the index at Positive Parenting: http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/ Or you may sign up there to receive PP in your email or LIKE us on FaceBook to receive it in your feed as it is posted.


Training for Triumph E Newsletters
            We have e-newsletters that go out periodically containing updates on our ministry and publishing company, as well as homeschooling and parenting helps. Check out past e newsletters at http://www.tfths.com/news.php or email us to register to receive them regularly via email (trainingfortriumph@mchsi.com) OR LIKE us on FaceBook (Training for Triumph) to receive notifications in your FB Feed when a newsletter comes out.


Free Curriculum Samples!
            We have a full one month sample of Character Quality Language Arts available for free at our site—including Lesson Plans and Answer Keys—of all four levels. This lets you “try before you buy” and also lets you see what level would be best for your student. Additionally, we have three weeks of each Meaningful Composition book at our site for free—and new ones are continually being added. Check out our samples at http://www.tfths.com/samples.php


Free Language Arts and Usage Tips!
     Our blog, Language Lady 365, has a few tips each week in the areas of grammar, usage, writing, reading, speaking, homophones, spelling, and more! You may sign up to receive this service via email at http://languagelady365.blogspot.com/ OR LIKE LL 365 on FaceBook to receive notifications in your feed.


Christian Parenting Seminar
     We offer a Christian parenting seminar, Character Training From the Heart, for between four and ten one hour sessions. (Note: This is a Christian parenting seminar and is not-homeschool-specific—so invite your non-homeschooling friends as well!). Host a seminar in your church, in a living room, for your Sunday school or small group, or homeschool group! We can do a Friday/Saturday or mid-week service—whatever works for your group. This unique seminar teaches parenting based on character training that comes from the hearts of parents—as opposed to simply outward control. We begin with character qualities that are appropriate for toddlers and preschoolers and work up to instilling “advanced” character qualities in teens and young adults. Check out a potential schedule and workshop descriptions at http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/search/label/seminars



We Are on FaceBook!

All of our ministry outreaches are on FB—check us out: Donna Reish: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000219102228


Contact Information
   Feel free to contact us via email ( trainingfortriumph@mchsi.com)  ,  phone (260-597-7415), or FB with questions about any of our services. We have been homeschooling for twenty-eight years this fall—and we LOVE to help homeschoolers and parents!









Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Character Training From the Heart parenting seminar coming to Oak Grove!

What: Ray and Donna Reish's (of Positive Parenting 365 and Training for Triumph) "Character Training From the Heart" parenting seminar

When: Friday, February 18th and Saturday, February 19th

Times: Friday 6:00-9:00; Saturday morning 9:00-12:00

Where: Oak Grove Church of God in Columbia City, Indiana in the Hall.

RSVP: May RSVP by sending $10 per couple or individual and $5 for any and all children (not per child) and your name, address, phone, and email, along with children’s names and ages, to 2426 S. Raber Rd., Columbia City, 46725—note that scholarships are available; please call the church for that information.

More RSVP: May also register by phone (and walk-ins accepted)--Phone-260-244-3052

Children's Programming: Staffed nursery available for children ages three and under. Children’s ministry by Brother Joe Schmidt from Texas—illusions, stories, music, crafts, games, and snacks with a good helper/child ratio. (Note: Children’s programming and child care is only five dollars per family, regardless of number of children.) Children’s activities will be in the Children’s Zone—parents may visit, stay, or check on their children as desired. Note that babies may stay with parents if desired.

Details of Seminar: Ray and Donna will present their Friday evening and Saturday morning character training seminar for all Christian parents (see topic list below). To learn more about their ministry, visit their blog at http://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/



                                              Seminar Schedule



This Christian parenting seminar focuses on character training from toddlerhood through about age twelve. Sessions go in chronological order, age-wise, by character quality (with 45 min sessions and 10 min breaks between), so parents may choose the ones that pertain to them if they are unable to attend all of the seminar.



*Friday night and half day Saturday— 6:00-9:00 on Friday and 9:00-12:00 on Saturday



                                 FRIDAY NIGHT SCHEDULE



6:00-7:00 –OVERVIEW: The Why’s and How’s of Character Training: The Importance of Character Training, Modeling, Developing Good Family Habits, Parenting Paradims essential to character training, and more



7:00-8:00 --The Early Qualities in Toddlers and Preschoolers: Contentment, Obedience, Cheerfulness, and Submission



8:00-9:00 --Laying the Foundation for All Qualities for All Ages: Focus on Obedience and Submission; Child Discipline; Three Types of Parenting—Proactive, Positive, and Punishing





                             SATURDAY MORNING SCHEDULE



9:00-10:00 —Helping Our Children Add Virtue to Their Lives: Link Between Foundational Qualities and “Higher Level” Qualities; Helping Children Gain Their Own Moral/Character Compass; The Next Qualities



10:00-11:00 —From Obedience to Initiative: Responsibility, Helpfulness, Kindness, Respect, and Honesty



11:00-12:00 Growing in Character: Initiative, Deference, Resourcefulness, Diligence, Promptness, Empathy, and More

Monday, January 17, 2011

Character Training From the Heart Seminar This Weekend!

Tomorrow we will continue our "Eleven Daily Habits of '11." Today I would like to share more about our upcoming seminar. If you live near us, please join us! Or if you would like to host one in your church or community, contact us to set one up.

This weekend we will be holding our first "Character Training From the Heart" seminar near Bluffton, Indiana. It's not too late to register...and we will accept walk ins!

The seminar will be held at Murray Missionary Church on Friday from 7:00-9:00 pm and Saturday from 9:00-12:00 (noon). It is a Christian parenting seminar for parents of children ages birth to fourteen or so. (We are not doing the tween and teen afternoon workshops for this particular seminar.)

You may register by emailing us your info (and pay $10 per person at the door) to trainingfortriumph@mchsi.com or you may just come!

We are so excited about this seminar! Please post this on your FB wall and/or copy and paste it into emails to send to your groups! We love having the opportunity to share the incredible teaching we have received through the years on Christian parenting--and our successses and mistakes (!).

If you do not feel equipped to discipline, teach, and train your children in character and living for Christ--starting with child discipline of little ones on into heart training of older ones--this seminar is for you!

Allow me to give you a sneak peek at the sessions.

Session I….Friday 7:00-8:00 The Five W’s of Character Training—Who, What, When, Where, and Why



Session II…Friday 8:00-9:00 The How’s of Character Training—an Overview


Session III….Friday 9:00-10:00 Starting Out Right—Avoiding Child Controlled Home, Outward vs. Inward Control of Behavior, and Babies and Toddlers


Session IV…Saturday 9:00-10:00 The Early Qualities for 3-6 Year Olds

Session V….Saturday 10:00-11:00 Character Qualities for Kids 6-12 Years

Session VI…Saturday 11:00-12:00 More Character Qualities for Kids and Transitioning From “Child” Training to “Heart” Training (cont’d 6-12+ years)


And, if you think of us, pray. The week of a seminar or convention is always stressful for our family, especially the "first" of one (which is sort of what this one is as we seek to combine/streamline sessions we have done in IL, OH, IN, and FL). We always have many opportunities to practice our teaching that week at home! Smile...

Monday, January 3, 2011

Character Training Seminar Near Bluffton, Indiana--REGISTER SOON!

We are excited about our upcoming Character Training From the Heart seminars! We have not published an RSVP date--and as long as we have the minimum number of registrants, people can even register the week of it or "walk in." However, in order to secure the facility and sound help, etc. we need to have our minimum number registered this weekend.

SO....if you are planning to come, please contact us at (260-597-7415) soon! We would love to have you!

Note: You may also register by postal mail by sending us your name, address, phone number, and email address, along with $10 per person registration fee to

Training for Triumph
6456 E US 224
Craigville, IN 46731




JANUARY— Murray Missionary Church, 1117 N. Washington Street, Murray (near Bluffton)—Friday, Jan 21st and Saturday, Jan 22nd







Note: We will be holding one near Fort Wayne next month as well: FEBRUARY— Oak Grove Church of God in Columbia City, Indiana (near Fort Wayne)—Friday, Feb 18th and Saturday, Feb 19th (with a snow postponement date of the 25th and 26th)




                                           Seminar Schedule


Both of these will be general Christian parenting seminars (not specific to homeschoolers only) focusing on character training from toddlerhood through about age twelve. Sessions go in chronological order, age-wise, by character quality (with 45 min sessions and 10 min breaks between), so parents may choose the ones that pertain to them if they are unable to attend all of the seminar.



*Friday night and half day Saturday—7:00-10:00 on Friday and 9:00-12:00 on Saturday









                                        FRIDAY NIGHT SCHEDULE



7:00-8:00 –OVERVIEW: The Why’s and How’s of Character Training: The Importance of Character Training, Modeling, Developing Good Family Habits, and More


8:00-9:00--The Early Qualities in Toddlers and Preschoolers: Contentment, Obedience, Cheerfulness, and Submission


9:00-10:00--Laying the Foundation for All Qualities for All Ages: Focus on Obedience and Submission; Child Discipline; Three Aspects of Parenting—The 3 P’s of Parening: Proactive, Positive, and Punishing



                         SATURDAY MORNING SCHEDULE


9:00-10:00—Helping Our Children Add Virtue to Their Lives: Link Between Foundational Qualities and “Higher Level” Qualities; Helping Children Gain Their Own Moral/Character Compass; The Next Qualities


10:00-11:00—From Obedience to Initiative: Responsibility, Helpfulness, Kindness, Respect, and Honesty

11:00-12:00 Growing in Character: Initiative, Deference, Resourcefulness, Diligence, Promptness, Empathy, and More



Contact us for registration information for either seminar at 260-597-7415 or trainingfortriumph@mchsi.com

















If you cannot make one of these two seminars, but would like to host one in your area, check out the details at Character Training From the Heart! Lastly, subscribe to receive our parenting blog in 2011(Positive Parenting 365) —we will be doing months of character training teaching in the new year!