Joni and Friends Wheels for the World "Miracle Story" of JAKE

Had to share this latest devo from Joni and Friends daily devotional. (You may subscribe to receive them in your email inbox or your FB feed at http://www.joniandfriends.org/daily-devotional/ )


There are many times when we can clearly look at a situation, and if we are people of faith, declare the action a complete miracle (as opposed to a "coincidence"). This JAF story is definitely one of those. Read it to your family at dinner tonight! :)


Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. --Proverbs 19:21




Our Wheels for the World team arrived in a small town in Poland to distribute 225 wheelchairs and Bibles. Before the day had hardly begun, however, their plans were in shreds. The assigned room was tiny and cramped. But before anyone could come up with a plan B, streams of families with disabled children began pouring through the doors. The place quickly became packed and noisy. Everything was thrown into confusion. "Lord Jesus," the team prayed together, "may your purpose prevail here." Then they went to work greeting families, assessing needs, locating pre-assigned wheelchairs, and sharing the Gospel of Jesus at every opportunity.


The afternoon wore on. A tired father, carrying his little five-year-old disabled boy on his back, finally reached the head of the line. But when he lifted his son into the pre-assigned chair, his shoulders slumped. It didn't fit! "I am so sorry!" our seating specialist exclaimed, "this is the wrong chair." But there were only a few chairs left. Pushing aside several adult chairs, she reached for a child-sized one. But it was highly customized, with side supports-including blue leather backing with "Jake" stitched across the middle. In the end, there was no other choice. It was that chair or nothing. When the father lifted his boy into the new chair, it fit perfectly! An interpreter exclaimed, "It's like it was made for him!"


"By the way, what is your son's name?" someone asked the boy's mother. "Jakob," she replied-and everyone gasped! When an interpreter explained to the boy's mystified parents that "Jake" is the shortened version of Jakob-they, too, cried for joy. The whole family-along with almost sixty others-opened their hearts to receive Jesus that day. The Lord's purpose had prevailed!

Your Family Is the Glass, Extremely-Breakable Ball--Not the Rubber Ball—Especially for Dads on Father’s Day 2011

"I do the things that I don't want to do...and I do not do the things I want to do..." Paul (paraphrased!)


We have all heard the analogy of managing life as juggling balls. We parents especially juggle and juggle, taking care not to drop the balls too often—and taking extra care not to drop the most important balls at all, if possible. Juggling balls is certainly an accurate picture of playing all of the roles that Christian moms and dads must play.


However, for many of us—and especially for fathers—our view of these juggling balls is not fully correct. You see, we have a tendency to see some of these spheres as less important than others: we often think of our kids/family as the rubber ball—the one that we can safely drop and it will quickly bounce right back up to us with no damage. At the same time, we often view the “work” ball as one that is made of glass—one that will shatter if it is dropped.


The Reishes know this all too well, for we have experienced this first hand. Like many other parents, twelve years ago, we were juggling furiously with no relief in sight. And while we were extra careful with the family ball and the work ball, we had an incorrect view of the work ball, too. It seemed so…fragile while the family ball, though we took extra care with it, seemed so resilient.


We had seven kids ages one through fourteen and an eighth little one on the way. Ray’s work was so demanding and had been our entire marriage. Up until that time, we had managed his sixty to seventy hour work weeks by my staying home most of the time and tending to the home and kids. When Ray was home, he was fully home—after all, we didn’t want to drop the family ball any more than necessary. Once our oldest became a teen and our second child was following close behind, we just didn’t see how we could keep juggling with such a demanding “work” ball that was in grave danger of shattering into a million pieces if not handled with kid gloves.


To make a long story short, our eighth child was stillborn and after my week in the hospital, a ruptured uterus, blood transfusions, and some extremely scary moments, we realized that the work ball was truly not as priceless and fragile as we had thought it to be. And we realized that the truly breakable, non-shatter-proof ball was the family one. Work was shown to be the bounce-able ball that it was—and our family was the priceless, non-replaceable one.


So we turned in the glassy, sparkling work ball for a rubber work ball. Yes, it cost more—everything truly good costs. But a forty percent pay cut, going from a 4500 square feet home to a 1400 square foot home, and the loss of a company car and other perks seemed like a small price to pay in order to keep the most important—non-rubber—family ball up in the air. It wasn’t an easy adjustment for any of us. I was used to a huge, newer house with a large schoolroom, three bathrooms, and more storage than I’ve ever seen in a home. Ray was used to being “somebody” in the company, a plant manager in an automotive plant (and prior to that, its controller). Moving into a forty-hour-per week job without all of the pressures (and accolades) of his former job was a difficult transition for him.


But we got better than ever at juggling! The career ball wasn’t so fragile anymore; the family ball was. If the work ball hit the floor, it bounced back. We became even more careful with the precious gem-like ball known as family.


Obviously, every Christian parent is not asked to give up his or her career to raise seven teens. But if you find yourself thinking of careers as the glass balls and family as the rubber one. Or you find yourself juggling furiously and continually chasing the work ball for fear that it will shatter while the family ball falls and bounces back then falls again and bounces back, you might need to examine those balls more carefully like we had to. You do get better at juggling with practice, but who wants to take a chance with such a precious juggling ball as our kids?

Paradigm #2: Our view of mankind in general and children specifically

If we believe that people are basically good in themselves, there will be no need for ongoing, consistent, intensive training of our children. Why bother? If we believe that everybody really has a “good heart” and wants to “do right,” our children will turn out fine without character training.

If we, however, believe that man is born with a sin nature and is incapable of goodness outside of God, we will desire to seek God and help our children do the same. Scripture supports this belief, as evidenced in Romans 7:18—“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

Taking this “man is basically sinful” thinking a step further, we must also believe, that as wonderful, sweet, soft, cuddly, and incredible that children are, they, too, are born sinful. Obviously, children have some other qualities that adults do not have that make it easier for them to learn spiritual truths otherwise Scripture would not say that adults should “become like little children.” However, child-like faith aside, we must, if we are to embrace the importance of character training in the lives of our children, believe that Romans 7:18 applies to them, as demonstrated in Proverbs 22:15, among other places: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (ASV).

Nobody wants to think or talk about original sin, and yet, in parenting, not embracing this truth can lead us to extremely faulty child training (or lack thereof). I have the most incredible children in the world. Ask me about them for a few minutes, and you will get way more than you bargained for! However, they, just like their mom and dad, need the Savior for eternal salvation and the Holy Spirit to help them live the Christian life on this earth. They (and we) will not automatically be filled with good character. Because of our sinful nature, we must, through the Lord, learn about, practice, and press on to the fruit of the spirit, the mind of Christ—and everything else that is good.

day 357: christmas sorrow—“i heard the bells on christmas day”

“Then pealed the bells more loud and deep”:

‘God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;"


Having a family who is close to us spend their first Christmas without their mother reminds me daily that there are many out there who are hurting, some even despairingly sorrowful, this Christmas. I long to do something, anything, to lessen their pain…and yet I feel inadequate to do so.

Then came our reading in “Stories Behind the Songs of Christmas” about Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “Christmas Bells” poem (today sung as “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day”). While it did not give me any specific insight into how to reach out to those I love who are hurting this Christmas, it did remind me once again, that God is there—always—and that some day they will hurt less than today…and then later less…though the hollowness will always be there to a certain degree. God will be there.

Christmas 1863 found Longfellow in despair. The Civil War was raging; his wife had died two years previously in a freak accident; and his son returned form the war with severe wounds.

That Christmas Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the poem, “Christmas Bells,” with its well-known words:



“I heard the bells on Christmas day,

Their old, familiar carols play.

And wild and sweet, the words repeat,

Of peace on earth, goodwill to men.”



In Wadsworth’s original poem, there are two verses about the Civil War, which we do not sing as part of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” The following verse we do sing—and it shows us so clearly the pain that this man faced:

“And in despair, I bowed by head;

‘There is no peace on earth,’ I said;

‘For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men!’”



The next verse, however, is the one that gives us hope—and the one that I wish I could place within the soul of every hurting person I love (and the one that I needed within my soul just twelve Christmases ago when I could not leave the sofa on Christmas day following the stillbirth of our final baby just two months earlier):



“Then pealed the bells more loud and deep”:

‘God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men!’”



Somehow when you know a fellow traveler has walked the path of sorrow and grief before you—and has come out with words within his heart of the magnitude of this song—you feel the strength from his journey to carry on in your own.

That is what I love about this song—the honesty that yes, this journey felt impossible at times. But he made it to the other side with praise for God and a knowing that “God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!” And those I love will too.

Listen to Casting Crowns sing this incredible song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7670CXvPX0

day 270: boundaries released too early—bringing them back in part ii of ii

Some might wonder if the boundaries will ever be widened fully in this approach to parenting. It may seem like your children (even teens) are not mature enough to allow the boundaries to ever come out in some areas. And I know that feeling. T

There will be times when our children are moving into adulthood when we can no longer control their environments. Times in which we do not have the options of bringing in the boundaries to help them gain control of themselves and their actions. At this point, many parents try to micromanage their children rather than releasing them to their own devices.

This is why we promote a gradual release of teens and young adults from under authority. The entire idea of a child turning eighteen and becoming an "adult" is simply inaccurate and damaging to young people. We have seen this over and over again when a child graduated from a protected home and was "released" without the proper guidance in his life. It was thought that "now he is an adult,” so now he is ready to make all of his own decisions. If the boundaries were not released gradually—at a rate appropriate for that child’s maturity, decision making level, and respect for authority—the results are often disastrous.


Yes, there will come a time when you will stop manipulating his environment to help him mature (stop bringing in the boundaries), and the child will flounder often. However, it should not be abrupt; it should be gradual. And it should not be without your constant input and guidance in his life even as a young adult. (We have found that when we followed other “positive parenting” advice given earlier in this blog, our older teens and young adults desire our input in their lives. We have raised them to respect us and loved them with total abandonment—and they know that we are so crazy about them that we would never want anything but God’s best for them.)

day 235: keeping motivated part v of v—trusting god

Lastly, to stay motivated, trust God. Maybe this should have been first, but it is probably right where I often put it. We as parents sometimes have such a difficult time trusting God, especially when things do not turn out as we anticipated.


Ray and I were recently talking about two couples who had huge impacts on our parenting and family life. We have found out lately that both couples have “given up”—in their own ways—on this idea of Christian parenting. Oh, they haven’t necessarily turned from the faith; they just gave up on many of the things they taught us about passing this faith on to our children.


The first one basically saw that this parenting thing wasn’t working, got disillusioned with things, and started taking the easy way out on everything. It was easier to join the kids than it was to train them.


The second one became angry at God when their kids were not turning out like they thought they would. They are angry, bitter, and cynical. We’ve been told that they are not the same people at all anymore—that we would hardly recognize them.


What made these two couples decide that this wasn’t worth it if it didn’t turn out the way they always dreamed it would? The same thing that makes us give in to a child and just give him his own way rather than sticking to our guns on a discipline issue. The same thing that forces us to extend the curfew a little longer when the sixteen year old gives us a hard time—it’s not like it’s going to make any difference. They aren’t catching anything we’re trying to give them here anyway, we think.


Sure, those couples made big, long-term decisions to skip the teaching in one case and be bitter in the other. But we make those same types of decisions all the time when the going gets rough. Little ones, yes, but similar anyway.


I pondered these two families whom I had nearly idolized for a long time and came to the conclusion that I, too, often find myself heading down the same path when I parent in an outcome-based way only. In other words, if I dig in and do what I know I should do only if things are going the way I planned for them to, I, too, could become lackadaisical and/or bitter.


I can’t parent out of fear—or out of demands that God do what I want when I want it. I have to parent in faith. I have to trust God regardless of how things look. I lose my motivation quickly when I base my efforts on how things are going on a daily basis. I am working hard at this Christian parenting not because if I do everything will go how I want it to, but because it is what I am called to do—and I will trust God for the outcome—and the motivation to stick with it.

day 233: keeping motivated part iii of v—motivated with your spouse

I am grateful every day for a husband with the same goals, similar motivation, identical work ethic, consistent parenting methods, and deep faith. I know this isn’t always the case—and it obviously isn’t impossible to keep motivated in this parenting endeavor as a single parent. There are people everywhere doing it. And I believe that God gives the grace for each situation when it is needed; thus, I can’t imagine doing what single parents do, but then I’m not in that scenario either.


If you are a married Christian parent with a spouse who also wants to do the hard work of Christian parenting, regardless of the difficulties you face, you are very blessed indeed. There are a couple of specific areas in marriage that have helped us to keep motivated:




1. Be one in your marriage, as well as in your parenting. Ray and I are seldom unmotivated or discouraged at the same time. Thank the Lord! We need each other desperately in order to keep the momentum to finish this parenting race with our last three “little boys”! We will discuss Christian marriage more thoroughly this fall and especially next year in honor of our thirtieth wedding anniversary. In the area of motivation, though, just knowing that someone is there with you, embracing the same goals and methodology, is a huge motivator. Talk about every aspect of parenting all the time. When one is down, the other can motivate and encourage. And vice versa.


2. Do not view the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the child raiser. We are both parents—and we are in this thing together. One of the major downfalls of so much teaching on husband and wife roles in the conservative church, to us, has been the whole idea that the husband is the “head” and the “breadwinner” and the wife is the “subordinate” and the “child raiser.” Yes, the Bible does teach that a man is to be the head of the home—but why? He is to be the head of the home to serve and love his family as Christ loved the church—not to be the boss. With the emphasis on the head and breadwinning aspects of marriage, the husband is often thought of us above parenting—or too busy making a living to parent. If a wife is a homemaker, her job is homemaking. However, parenting is not part of the job description of the homemaker. Parenting is part of the job description of the parents, plural. I am so grateful that we were taught about the servant-leadership required of the husband to truly “love as Christ loved the church.” Ray has always considered us co-parents, and, yes, even co-homeschoolers. Teaching, training, talking, disciplining…these are both the husband’s and wife’s responsibilities when they have children—and should not be relegated to the wife alone. It is difficult for a mother to stay motivated in her parenting endeavor if she feels that she is doing it alone. Husbands, if you want to help your wife stay motivated in her parenting, co-parent with her.


More motivating tips tomorrow. I wish I could just reach into every reader’s heart and give you each a huge dose of motivation—along with perseverance, long-term visualization, hope, joy, love, patience, wisdom—all the things I have felt so needy for in my parenting. God bless you all.

day 233: keeping motivated part iii of v—motivated with your spouse

I am grateful every day for a husband with the same goals, similar motivation, identical work ethic, consistent parenting methods, and deep faith. I know this isn’t always the case—and it obviously isn’t impossible to keep motivated in this parenting endeavor as a single parent. There are people everywhere doing it. And I believe that God gives the grace for each situation when it is needed; thus, I can’t imagine doing what single parents do, but then I’m not in that scenario either.


If you are a married Christian parent with a spouse who also wants to do the hard work of Christian parenting, regardless of the difficulties you face, you are very blessed indeed. There are a couple of specific areas in marriage that have helped us to keep motivated:




1. Be one in your marriage, as well as in your parenting. Ray and I are seldom unmotivated or discouraged at the same time. Thank the Lord! We need each other desperately in order to keep the momentum to finish this parenting race with our last three “little boys”! We will discuss Christian marriage more thoroughly this fall and especially next year in honor of our thirtieth wedding anniversary. In the area of motivation, though, just knowing that someone is there with you, embracing the same goals and methodology, is a huge motivator. Talk about every aspect of parenting all the time. When one is down, the other can motivate and encourage. And vice versa.


2. Do not view the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the child raiser. We are both parents—and we are in this thing together. One of the major downfalls of so much teaching on husband and wife roles in the conservative church, to us, has been the whole idea that the husband is the “head” and the “breadwinner” and the wife is the “subordinate” and the “child raiser.” Yes, the Bible does teach that a man is to be the head of the home—but why? He is to be the head of the home to serve and love his family as Christ loved the church—not to be the boss. With the emphasis on the head and breadwinning aspects of marriage, the husband is often thought of us above parenting—or too busy making a living to parent. If a wife is a homemaker, her job is homemaking. However, parenting is not part of the job description of the homemaker. Parenting is part of the job description of the parents, plural. I am so grateful that we were taught about the servant-leadership required of the husband to truly “love as Christ loved the church.” Ray has always considered us co-parents, and, yes, even co-homeschoolers. Teaching, training, talking, disciplining…these are both the husband’s and wife’s responsibilities when they have children—and should not be relegated to the wife alone. It is difficult for a mother to stay motivated in her parenting endeavor if she feels that she is doing it alone. Husbands, if you want to help your wife stay motivated in her parenting, co-parent with her.




More motivating tips tomorrow. I wish I could just reach into every reader’s heart and give you each a huge dose of motivation—along with perseverance, long-term visualization, hope, joy, love, patience—all the things I have felt so needy for in my parenting. God bless you all.

day 232: keeping motivated part ii of v—see the long term and role models

There are over a dozen main areas that we would like to touch on about keeping motivation when your kids are little. I will do a few of these each day as space permits.


First of all, a note about motivation with little kids. It is tough! That’s all there is to it. We live in an immediate gratification society. This is not just in our food and entertainment---it invades every area of our lives. We have come to need immediate feedback or immediate solvency. This has made it especially difficult in things in which the rewards are infrequent or further down the road. And that sums up parenting small children to a tee.


Sure, we get the immediate feedback of their sweetness, their obedience, their cleverness, etc. And I am not saying that those things are not rewarding—they certainly are. However, the long term goal in Christian parenting is raising children to become responsible, loving, selfless Christian adults. And those rewards are w---aaa-----y down the road when you have three kids three and under.


It can feel as though what you do today doesn’t matter that much. It can make us laxed and even lazy. And it can feel impossible. (“I can’t do this anyway, so why work so hard???)


Therefore, we need examples, role models, encouragement, long term vision, etc. to keep doing what we know we should be doing—even when it is easier to take the less demanding path whenever it is offered.


1. Look into your children’s hearts. They are so precious—this will reveal the great need to keep doing what you are doing. Oftentimes, we can’t see ten or twenty years beyond today. We can’t link today’s devotions, talks, or discipline with the whole concept of “raising children to become responsible, loving, selfless Christian adults.” It is then that we have to look into our kids’ hearts and know that we can make a difference in those hearts. And accept each little success as a reward for the job you are doing now---when the two year old stops saying “no” to commands you give; when the three year old says, “Mommy, come see how I made my bed all by myself today,” and yes, especially, when the seven year old says, “Daddy, I want to accept Jesus too!”


2. See the intense years as needful and crucial. These are the years that the foundations of Christian character, self control, and spiritual development are laid. Speaking to groups, we often hear people say, “I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to really read and discuss the Bible,” or “I can’t wait to be able to have heart to heart talks with teens,” etc. That’s great—to look forward to those training years in a positive way. However, the real crucial ones are often right in front of us. Ages two to five are foundational to laying the groundwork for obedience, respect, and contentment. Ages five to ten are the basis of giving a love for learning about God and living in a way that pleases God. Those early years are SO important. I can’t stress them enough. If you only have preschoolers, change your mindset from the “daily grind” to “daily training.” Truly, what you do today has a huge effect on your kids’ futures.


3. Try to find role models with older children—those you can look to that will encourage you that all of your hard work is worth it. Ray and I thank the Lord jointly and individually every week for the influences that he placed in our lives every step of the way. We are some of those rare people who were actually discipled in an extremely intimate way. We had three couples in our lives when we were first born again who helped us nearly daily learn to live this Christian life. As we had children, we had a mentor couple who came and stayed with us for a week or two each year for several years in a row and taught us to “do what I do” in terms of parenting and faith training of children (and in marriage). We also had other young families who had wonderful children a few years older than ours—and we wanted to be just like them! Additionally, we went to parenting and homeschooling seminars in which the speakers had older children (teens and pre-teens) who were respectful, obedient, character-filled kids. We knew what we wanted in our parenting because we surrounded ourselves with role models. Role models who have children who have been raised in strong Christian homes give us hope that this Christian parenting really can be done. They keep us going when we think that what we do doesn’t really matter. They remind us that our calling is everlasting and crucial. Along those same lines, try to find like-minded parents to have as friends and confidants. Being in a small group with like-minded moms, going through parenting classes together, discussing character training all the time, etc. has helped me immensely in my parenting.






Tomorrow—more tips to keep motivated. Not to keep motivated because someday everything will be perfect—but to keep motivated because Christian parenting is one of the most important things we can do. And because it’s worth it.

day 231: how do you keep motivation going strong, part i of v

I know I said we were switching to study skills—and we really are. I have fifty pages of notes, outlines, and articles that I have done on this topic…so it will not be a matter of whether we will do study skills here, but rather where to wind it down. I want to help families with their kids’ study skills but not give so much information it becomes overwhelming. Pray for me! 


However, before we dig in to those study skills (next week, honest!), I have been pondering something that my niece and her husband asked me and Ray at a family get together this weekend: How did you keep motivation going strong when your kids were little? How did you (Donna) get up and do everything you wanted and needed to every day with all those needs and all of those demands? How did Ray get up early and teach kids, then go to work, then come home and serve all evening too? Didn’t you just want to be lazy sometimes? Didn’t you just want to do what you wanted to do sometimes? Didn’t you just plain not want to do it at times?


We gave them the short answer—see everything as a big part of a future, unseen-as-yet picture; do the next thing; see others who have done it; take breaks, etc. etc. But I have since thought of more ideas about this topic and want to share it here over the next week.


My niece and her husband have their hands full even more than we did fifteen years ago—they have the same number of kids twelve and under as we did; however, they have three kids three and under—and those demands are huge—never-ending, and extremely tiring. Therefore, I hate to give pat answers. I never liked receiving pat answers—just do what you need to do; keep going; it’s not as hard as it seems; it’s worth it. All of that is true, but I always wanted more than one liners—I wanted the nuts and bolts, and I know many young parents still want the same.


So, today I will give the “pat” answers, if you will. The one liners that I truly believe are pertinent to this discussion. Then over the next week, I will try to put those one liners into motivation, inspiration, and “tools” that are useable.






1. Attack the first hour of the day first.


2. Watch out for time robbers.


3. Attack one thing at a time. Attack the most crucial, pressing matter(s) first, then move on to the next


4. Cut yourself some slack. Take time off when needed.


5. Don’t take on extras or unreasonable goals that detract from what you really need to do.


6. Try to find role models with older children---those you can look to that will encourage you that all of your hard work is worth it and will pay off later.


7. Look into your children’s hearts. They are so precious. This will reveal the great need to keep doing what you are doing.


8. See each need you meet, each task you carry out, each lesson you teach, each heart you touch as of eternal value—not just for the here and now.


9. Spend time with your spouse. Be one in your marriage, as well as in your parenting.


10. Do not view the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the child raiser. We are both parents—and we are in this thing together.


11. See the intense years as needful and crucial. These are the years that the foundations of Christian character, self control, and spiritual development are laid.


12. Trust God.






You can do this!!! It is so worth it! Things will never be perfect…we have things to deal with even now with our kids (grown ones who still need discipling and ones at home who need us daily in many areas of life) every week, but it is worth it!


I thought it was so hard, that the intense years would never pass. But we kept at it….just kept on doing the same things, the same hard things, day in and day out, knowing that the little glimpses of rewards we saw and the joy that small children bring would some day be bigger glimpses of rewards…and joy unspeakable.

day 217: giving up the quiet stream for god's raging sea of love

While all of my children enjoy writing in various capacities, our missionary daughter and I are the family poets. Kayla’s poetry is so poignant, so moving. I love to soak it in.


Today we left Kayla in Springfield, Missouri to begin her missionary appointment with the Assemblies of God Health Missions as a health educator. She will literally be all over the world during the next two years helping existing missions, churches, and clinics reach those with HIV and AIDS with the good news of Jesus Christ.

Today I would like to share a poem that she recently included in her missionary newsletter. She wrote it when she was a young teen—but it speaks her life’s heart so well, even after nearly ten years. She still, and has always, desired to be found in the raging sea of love rather than the quiet, easy stream of the world. May we all be found in God’s Raging Sea of Love as we seek not the easy way of parenting, not the paths that are simple, but the ones that take us and our children exactly where God wants us to go.


                                                       "Raging Sea of Love"

                                                                          by Kayla m. Reish



We asked for your love to come in like a raging sea,


But what we wanted was a quiet mountain stream.

One that we could build our sandcastles beside,

With all the world’s decorations, pillars and beams,

With the water flowing gently--- not too deep or wide,

Just close enough to hear the water trickling down,

And far enough from the coast high up on mountain ground,

To fool ourselves into thinking it’s the ocean’s roar.



We listen with rapt attention to the seamen’s lore,

Thinking we know what the great captains know of.

What they mean when they talk about the waves they felt,

As their eyes looked at the endless water of God’s love,

Which caused their flesh to die and their hearts to melt.

We congratulate each other; stepping in the stream,

Never daring to go too far from the shore to dream,

And play the great sea travelers’ adventures.



In the small puddles we call huge tide pools,

And through the tiny ripples we call great billows,

We carefully form our paper boats and call them ships.

Like the scars of the ocean travelers we know,

Great wounds are earned when into the water we slip.

Quickly we dry the water of love off our arms,

Before it hits our flesh and can cause it any harm,

What brave seamen we are in our little waveless creek.



At the games we play in our quiet mountain stream,

The great sea captains can only shake their heads and mourn.

Because they have seen the raging sea of love,

And to spend their lives traveling it they have sworn.

No games, no ease, no earthly rest to speak of.

Just them and the water for miles and miles.

The surf of surrender forming watery piles,

And crushing down on them time and time again.



Out in the limitless depths of the raging sea,

They’ve heard the sounds that love alone knows how to make,

When its flood comes on them leaving no where to hide.

Every inch of them it crushes onto it breaks,

And cuts deep wounds into their flesh and bruises their pride.

No rescue from the fury of love’s embrace.

Then they struggle to their knees and look into love’s face,

Knowing they will never go back to the quiet mountain stream.



We cannot imagine the force of such a love,

Yet they dare to tell the stories of all they have seen,

Of a force that left them with nothing but brokenness,

Like we will never know by our quiet mountain stream,

And left them ruined for a life of worldliness,

Totally empty yet now completely full,

Addicted forever to the unstoppable pull,

Of passionate healing in God’s raging sea of love.

day 202: "mombrellas"

Last summer our-now-missionary daughter was the camp nurse for a summer teen camp for several weeks between her junior and senior year of college. She had been an RN for over a year (she was on her second degree—this time in biblical studies) and had worked during the school year at the large, outstanding Baylor Hospital in Dallas. She was so excited to have the opportunity to give her summer to over six hundred young people each week—and to hopefully learn some “outdoor” emergency skills that she might need on the mission field. (There were experienced EMT’s also serving, but Kayla would be the only nurse and, thus, would have the title of official camp nurse.)


I was excited for her, but I also felt such a burden for her. It seemed like such a huge responsibility for a twenty-three year old. Kayla had worked in an ER, worked full time as a nurse for a year, etc., but it still felt “big” to me. I prayed and prayed for the safety of the campers and that nothing devastating would happen as Kayla was in charge this summer. (Obviously, I didn’t want anything bad to happen period, but I especially felt heavy-hearted for Kayla’s critical role in the summer camp.)


Early in the second week of camp, the phone rang first thing in the morning, and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I saw that it was Kayla’s number. She had been so busy during the first week that she could only call at ten or eleven at night after all the campers were in their cabins. I quickly answered the phone, feeling that something was amiss.


And something was. In the night, Kayla got called to a cabin in which a sixteen year old boy was having CPR administered to him by one of the EMT’s (whose cabin was closer). The EMT, Kayla, and the counselors knew the young man’s chances were slim to survive, but the EMT continued to work until the ambulance got there and rushed the camper to a local hospital. The hour in which the medical personnel worked on the man had to have been the longest hour of Kayla’s short life thus far. Here she was, camp nurse—and one of her campers was lying in front of her dying.


I cried and cried that day—for the counselors, fellow campers, the boy’s family—and for my camp nurse who was hurting like she had never hurt before. There was nothing any of them could have done. The young man died of an acute asthma attack of which nobody could have prevented or resuscitated him from. Yet still the burden and responsibility of this young boy’s death weighed heavily on Kayla.


During the days that followed I wished so much that I could pull out my imaginary secret weapon: the “mombrella.” You know, that invisible umbrella that we moms can just open with a click of a button and spread above our dear children. That fool-proof, repellant dome that protects our kids from all of the horrowing things this world dishes out to them. The hiding place that we can create under this beautiful mombrella that no pain, sorrow, or hurt can break through.


And yet, I couldn’t. I had to enter Kayla’s dark, stormy days with no umbrella of any kind—much less the secret, perfect mombrella that I envision carrying into my kids’ turbulent winds and hail.


Or did I? I mean—maybe I can’t give my kids the “mombrella” that I would like to give them…but maybe I can give them something even better—that is, if I can get past the fact that I myself have nothing to offer, no mombrella, no hiding place that I create. If I can see beyond myself as my kids’ savior in dark days—and trust God to take them through whatever comes their way. I mean, after all, isn’t a “God”brella so much better than any “mom”brella that I might create, even if I could fashion a large, colorful, full-protection one?

day 202: last twelfth birthday

"...close your eyes very tightly and breathe in a deep breath of that moment...for someday you will want to close your eyes...and see that moment again."



Our baby just turned twelve. Unbelievable. I remember the days when all I wanted was a twelve year old! I actually thought that all of my problems (too much work, too little help, short nights, long days, so many needs of young children, etc.) would be solved if I just had a twelve year old to help me. I’m not sure where I came up with that magical age, but for me, a twelve year old was like having two adults home during the day!

Guess what? I was right to a large extent. The ages between ten and fifteen became true “magical” ages for me as my kids were so helpful, cheerful, and diligent. Of course, sixteen to twenty-seven have been wonderful too, but our kids get pretty involved in ministry, higher education, and work and are less and less available at home in that stage (as it should be). Those years have been amazing too, though, as we have watched our kids grow into the adults they are.

What I didn’t count on was the fact that once your first child turns twelve, time speeds up at two or three times its previous rate. While the days had felt so long, they were now over in the blink of an eye. While I had thought Joshua would never turn twelve, he did, and the next thing I knew, Kayla turned twelve, and, it seemed, a month later, Cami did. And so it continued until now…when our last little guy turned twelve.

So today we are having our last twelfth birthday party. Last night, as Ray and I lay in bed, we commented with teary eyes that Ray had just played basketball in the driveway for the very last time with one of our kids at age eleven. I had just read bedtime stories to our final eleven year old—for tomorrow, he would turn twelve, as all of the kids had done. And to think that I wished and wished for a twelve year old.

The moral of this story: don’t wish for a twelve year old. For you will likely get what you wish for—and maybe before you want it. You will probably get, as we have gotten, more than one twelve year old—in rapid succession.

Another piece of advice: every once in a while, close your eyes very tightly and breathe in a deep breath of that moment, whatever that moment might be. Hold it in your mind in still picture and say aloud, “I will never forget this moment.” Someday you will want to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and see that moment again.

day 196: knowing where to “tap”

There is a story told of a man who was trying to fix his broken boiler many years ago. He tried and tried over several weeks but was unable to repair it. Finally, he gave up and called an expert. This “expert” engineer took a look at the boiler and gently tapped on the side of it. He then stood back as the machine sprang to life.


As the repairman left, he handed the man a bill for a full repair job. The owner of the boiler said that he should only have to pay a small amount since the task took just a few moments. The engineer responded that the man was not paying for the worker’s time but rather for the years of experience it took the repairman to learn just where to tap the boiler.


What does this have to do with parenting? The minute I read this story I was reminded of twenty years ago when I had a few young children and begged God to show me how to parent. When I cried because I could not get my strong willed little girl to obey. When I worried and fussed over a selfish child, sure that I was not equipped for this job, not “expert” enough to raise sons and daughters in a Christian home. When the parenting machine went haywire, I felt that I beat all over the side of it in vain in order to fix it—just like the owner of the boiler in the story.

Fast forward ten years later when I had babies through teens. I was learning “where to tap” in terms of parenting babies, toddlers, and young children. I was becoming an “expert” in the loosest sense of the word—simply from parenting every day. I gained confidence in those areas as I had my years of experience with the first few children to know what worked and didn’t work. However, I was just entering the stage of teenagers—and I had no idea what to do. I tapped endlessly all over the parenting machine---and felt that I only seldom hit the right spot.


Fast forward twenty years later, and I still worry, beg God, and cry--but a lot less often than I did in my early years of parenting. Do you know why? Because after so many years of “doin’ the stuff” there are many days in which I actually do know where to tap in order to solve the problem. There are some days in which answers come simply because I have years of experience now—and can slide my metaphorical hand along the side of the deteriorating situation and feel a quickening within me as to where to tap.


Oh yes, there are still “those days.” Ray and I still look at each other on occasion like we have never faced a certain situation or circumstance with no clue as to where to tap. But my twenty-seven years of experience has given me tools, opportunities, and intuition that I simply lacked many years ago. And some days, I know just where to tap—and I thank God for those days as I seek to tap into my children’s hearts and lead them in the way the Lord desires for me to lead them.


If you are a young parent, do not despair! Every situation you encounter now with your children is building within you the experience and skill to become an expert tapper of sorts. Some day you will realize that you can solve a problem more easily than you could before. Then another time it will happen again. And you will know that you have become an accomplished tapper of your children’s hearts—and you will tap away every day, knowing that you are leading them in the way the Lord desires for you to lead them.

day 194: our missionary daughter

"Preach Christ always, and if necessary, use words." Francis of Asissi



We have been having an interesting summer at the Reishes! While our almost-eighteen and twenty year olds have gone away for the summer working and traveling with a drama ministry, our next-to-the oldest has been home for the summer itinerating for her first full time missionary appointment.


I wanted to share with our readers a little about Kayla and her upcoming mission work. I think Positive Parenting 3*6*5 readers will especially be interested in how Kayla first felt her calling to missions twelve years ago—while our family read aloud from a “discipleship” book by Philip Yancy. And how did it begin and grow? Through her father challenging her to minister at home first—and to trust God to give her a future ministry. It is an amazing testimony that we thank God for continually.


Please pray for her if you think of her—and if any of you would like to know more about her work; possibly have her speak to your church, missions board, or small group; or learn about how your family can support this new, young missionary girl, feel free to email her at kaylamreish00@lionmail.sagu.edu She is anxious to get on the mission field, but like most missionaries nowadays, is working hard to raise her monthly support to get out there—while working a couple of jobs to help herself through “tent making.”


Check out her website—read articles, poetry, and updates about her work as a missionary nurse all around the world--http://dreamdarereish.blogspot.com/


Here is one of our “parent letters” that Ray and I have written to introduce Kayla’s mission work to friends and associates:










Dear Friend,






You may have heard via Facebook (!) or other source that the Reish family has a newly-appointed missionary in it! It is with great joy that we write this letter to introduce you (or re-introduce you, for those who have already heard from Kayla) to the exciting life and work that God has planned for our daughter.






Twenty years ago (when Kayla was only four years old) we began reading about missionaries, evangelists, and other godly people who “counted all but loss for the sake of the gospel.” We told Kayla that she was destined to do great things —and she believed us.






Not only did she believe us, but she also acted on that challenge throughout her childhood and teen years. When Kayla was thirteen, she was called specifically into missions as our family read aloud from a challenging book by Philip Yancey. About that time, Ray questioned Kayla about her future, what God was showing her, what she thought she should be doing, who she was going to minister to, etc.






She told him that she was going to be a missionary to Central or South America.






Ray questioned her further: “No, I mean now. Who are you going to minister to right now in your life?”






Kayla thought for a quick moment, looked up at Ray and said, "Right now, my ministry will be Mom."


Kayla had already been the most diligent child I had ever seen, but now she pressed in even harder. She would get up early, before anyone else was up, work in the kitchen, do dishes, fix breakfast. She never tired of it; her “ministry” was not just a passing phase. And she continued this—her ministry to her family has never ended.






Fast forward a few years later and Kayla found herself ministering to homeschooled students through speech, debate, Spanish, writing, and science classes she taught. She, along with her sister and another teen girl, wrote a newsletter for young girls for six years (and earned the money herself to mail it out—she didn’t charge the girls and wouldn’t let her parents pay for her ministry!). Kayla taught and preached at the young adults’ services on Sunday evenings for a couple of years, then she joined a Spanish church for a couple of years to further her Spanish speaking skills—and help those people right here in her own community. She continued to serve in many capacities--holding weekend retreats, mini seminars and workshops; speaking at homeschool conventions; helping us raise and train her younger siblings, and much more—all in an effort to “minister where she was planted” until her time came to “go out into all the world.”






Here we are, ten years after she was called to the mission field and practiced on this mission field known as home, and she has completed the degrees that she felt she needed in order to serve God in medical missions—RN, BSN (nursing), and BA (biblical studies). (She received her associates of nursing first so that she could work as a nurse while getting the other two degrees—and graduate debt free.)






And she is ready to go—as a health educator with Global Aids Partnership, developing materials, going into existing missions to help missionaries learn how to reach out to those affected by AIDS, and training pastors in other nations (especially Africa and Central and South America—she knew she would get there someday, even when she was only thirteen!).






So here we are writing this letter to friends, old and new, to let you know the needs that Kayla has in order to get on the mission field. Because she is a missionary associate with the Assembly of God International Missions, she must partner with individuals, churches, groups, etc. to raise her support herself. She must raise nearly $3,000 per month in order to maintain her home base, travel to train missionaries and leaders of indigenous churches, and develop materials to be used to safely reach those affected by AIDS around the world.










Why should you support Kayla ?






- She felt the call to missions at age 13 and has been preparing herself ever since.


o Academic Prep


 Three college degrees--Associate in Nursing, BS in Nursing. and BA in Biblical Studies


 3.83 GPA taking 20-23 hours per semester (while working 24 hrs/wk!)


o Technical Prep


 2 yr experience as RN at Baylor Hospital (Dallas)


 1 summer as head camp nurse for 700-900 campers per week


o Speaking Prep


 Four times national competitor in multiple high school speech and debate categories


 National semi-finalist in impromptu speaking


Teaching Prep


 Co wrote and produced GRACE – Christian newsletter to young girls


 Taught Sunday School


 Taught Young Adult group services and Sunday school


 Taught numerous science, Bible, language arts, speech classes to home schoolers


o Foreign Language Prep


 Five years of Spanish


 Teaching high school Spanish classes for homeschoolers


 Immersion in Spanish only speaking church for 2 years


o Financial Pep


 Worked full time to graduate college – Debt Free






- Her character is above reproach






- You can support someone you personally know (or at least you personally know her family)










Why should you support Kayla in Global Aids Partnership?






- Partnership: Everything is done in partnership with on the ground missionaries and congregations


- Sustainability: Everything has to be carried on long term with resources available to the local leadership


- Christ focused and God honoring: GAP is more than just another relief group because of its consistent and appropriate declaration of Jesus as Lord


- They secure payment of large projects from foundations and grants to offset large project costs






Why get involved with a ministry to people with AIDS ?


- AIDS has ravished lives and families the world over with over 33 million individuals infected


- Jesus commanded Christians to be his lights in a dark and sin-sick world


- It is serving people in their greatest time of spiritual, social, and physical need






Why are you getting this letter?


- Kayla needs to greatly expand her network of friends, family, and churches


o Most of her peers aren’t financially ready to support her


o She need contacts to other churches, groups, etc


- Kayla needs financial support






Kayla needs to raise support (via pledges) of $3000 per month for the next two years. While there are many good people and ministries that can be supported, I can think of no one who has better prepared herself for what God has called them to do. Please consider making a monthly pledge for Kayla's work. Also consider how you can help her expand her network of friends and churches. She is quite the orator and can speak to churches, civic groups, Sunday school classes, etc. about her mission work (or about another inspirational or motivational subject should you need a speaker). Thank you for your support.






Sincerely,


Ray and Donna Reish

day 179: nearly “childless”

I have another reading blog already to post, but I have to stop for a few minutes and remind all of you with little ones to enjoy every moment of it. I know, I know…I say it all the time—and others said it to me twenty years ago. However, I didn’t always believe them. I was sure that the fourteen+ years out of seventeen that I was either pregnant and/or nursing would last forever. I was sure I would never have any “time to myself” in this life. I was sure that little people would always need me—and I would always be exhausted.


I was wrong. And if you think that, you are wrong too. And I sit here in an empty house tonight all alone as a reminder of how wrong that thinking is.


We have three kids still “at home”---one amazing son who is a senior in high school this fall (who is traveling all summer with a drama ministry team); one a sophomore in the fall (who is usually home working in our publishing company and being his normal, wonderful self but is gone this week working with our son-in-law); and one precious little guy who will be twelve years old tomorrow (who is gone right now out on the town celebrating with his big sister who is home for a while itinerating for her full time missionary appointment she recently received).


So tonight it’s just me and Ray—a moment I dreamed of for so many years and one that happens with fair amount of frequency lately. It is nice to talk interrupted, to run over to our dance studio and practice dance steps, to pop a movie in and laugh and be together. However, as Ray returns Training for Triumph calls in the next room and I sit down to write love notes on my kids’ Facebook walls, all I can do is cry.


It’s strange, really, as I love this season of life so much. Ray and I invested literally years of our lives into our kids’ lives—and now we get to reap the rewards. We get to have relationships with teenagers and young adults that many just dream of having. We get to continue to help guide and direct the lives of our five kids who are eighteen to twenty-seven in such amazing ways—because they ask us to and want us to. And no, everything isn’t always perfect, but the relationships are there—and that is what we have strived for during all of our parenting years.


Yet something still makes me teary-eyed (okay, downright weepy!) this week (besides hormones!). It is that longing for days gone by—only the good times, of course. Only the easy, fun, rewarding times. Not the hard, long, demanding ones.


And I know that, that is part of it. When I look back in years gone by, I only remember all of the “romantic times,” if you will. The half hour plus spent most everyday on the sofa French braiding and “pontytailing” three little girls in a row. The late nights gathered in our bedroom with four teenagers laughing and carrying on. The moments early in the morning with a baby at the breast and a toddler holding a book, ready for early morning reading. The sweetness, the smiles, the laughter, the games, the singing, the reading, the kindness, the light bulb moments—those times that make me so glad that we did what we have done for the past twenty-seven years—those times that make me heart-sick for days gone by.

day sixty-seven: “prepare” for parenting

"Nothing could have prepared me for parenting...."


Long, fussy nights. Evenings walking the floor trying to solve the problem, then finally making room for the “angelic being” at the foot of my bed. Afternoons filled with needs that I could humanly never meet…..anxiety, fussiness, tear-filled moments, overwhelming joy, laughter.


Nights with two, three, four, or five of them all needing Mom and Dad at the same time….all gathered in our room, some half asleep, others needing consoled or comforted. Nights in which Ray would finally drift off to sleep by midnight, only to wake up at four to take off for work and find the needy one still in our bed.


Yes, it’s very true….nothing could have prepared me for parenting………….…….teens and young adults. (Long ellipses intended!)


If you began reading the above paragraph thinking I was describing parenting babies, I tricked you!  I can remember when I had six children twelve and under (ten years ago!), and I thought parenting babies and toddlers was so challenging. I was tired, overwhelmed, and overworked. I thought it would be so much easier in a dozen years. Ha!


Recently we had a wave of “overwhelming parenting days” with our teens and young adults. Nothing too big, nothing too out of the ordinary…just six “kids” twelve through twenty-two needing their parents all at the same time. Prior to the last few years, I had no idea that parenting teens and young adults took so much emotional energy AND so much time.


Ray spent one evening with J and Lisa, giving them advice. I was with the two oldest girls that same evening, going over the camp they hosted for young ladies, followed by getting Cami off to serve at Joni and Friends and phone calls with updates and prayer needs a couple of times a day.


We met with Kayla and some missionaries and a missions director (two different meetings)—along with some long, heart-felt talks with just the three of us and dinner out.


Jonathan needed help getting his “responsibility” level up to his “ability” level. (I’m sure you can figure that out for yourself!)


Kara went away to debate camp and didn’t have Mom or big sisters there to encourage her every hour—and I ended up talking on the phone with her two to five times a day and emailing her at least twenty times a day!


It was a tiring week. Every hour of each evening the phone seemed to ring or we were tied up with one of the older children---or both.


At the end of the week, Ray and I fell into bed and discussed how challenging our parenting is right now---how many needs there are and how inadequate we feel to meet them---and I said, “You know what? These kids are consuming our lives!”


We looked at each other and broke out into laughter as we both said, “No duh---that’s what they’re supposed to do!”


It was good to laugh about it. For only two days later, I was in a heap of tears over it again, feeling like I was making mistakes, worrying about different things, and generally overwhelmed---much like I used to feel twelve years ago---only worse—I’m older and, well, hormonal!


Twelve years ago, we put them in their beds if they threw food from the high chair. Twelve years ago, they couldn’t have their ice cream if they didn’t eat their vegetables. Twelve years ago, we overloaded the newborn with colic drops and took turns walking the floor---but it didn’t seem as “life-long” or “life-shaping” as today’s parenting issues are.

I used to cry because I was tired. Now I lie awake—and make myself more tired---worrying and praying over our teens and young adults. I used to think I was a bad parent if my kids had bad behavior. Now I think I’m a bad parent if I don’t “look into the future” and see their needs before they arise. I used to worry that they didn’t do enough math, now I worry that they aren’t doing enough praying!


Then I get thankful….thankful that I’m crying because I miss my fourteen year old so much while she’s at debate camp that I’m considering driving the four hours to pick her up and bring her home to Mama. Thankful that my seventeen year old’s greatest need this week is trying to witness to an unsaved fellow counselor at the deaf children’s camp—and keeping the teenage boys from trying to “go with her.” (I’m not sure where they want to go with her!) Thankful that my nineteen year old isn’t into drugs….but is so into Jesus, she can’t decide when, where, and how to get on the field and bring the lost to Him. Thankful that our married son is such a diligent worker and so sensitive about things that he wants to talk to Ray for hours. Thankful that we have the issues we do have…instead of other issues that are way too heavy for me.


So….here Ray and I go again…doing what we always do when things are rough…regrouping, laughing, holding each other, praying, talking through everything, misunderstanding each other (then making up!), spending huge amounts of time talking to our kids. Sure, parenting at any age is tough, but as I said before, nothing could have prepared me to parent……………..….teens and young adults!


This week I will be doing a week-long series about teens, entitled “Reishes’ Recipe for Rebellion”—and what ingredients we want to be sure to NOT include in the parenting of our teens. I pray that you will be blessed and helped by it as much as we have from the teachings we have received that led up to our developing it.


Note: This article was reprinted in part from one of our 2005 newsletters.

day three: trust God for your kids in the new year

January always affords us the opportunity to "start anew." The opportunity to right the things that we felt were wrong in the previous year; the chance to do better, be better, love better...and parent better.

It's no wonder with all the excitement and anticipation of a new year that we don't wish each January that we just knew a  little of what that would hold. That we just knew some of the things that would come our children's ways. That way, we reason, we could be a little more prepared, a little less worried about their futures.

Parenting is filled with wonder...good wonders...and the times we wonder what is next for our children. Worry seems to come easily, especially, to us mothers. Daily turning our cares for our children over to the Lord is a daily exercise that would benfit all of us "worrisome" types of moms.

"The Gate of the Year," a poem written in 1908 by Minnie Louise Haskins, sums up the truth about standing at the gate of a new year--and wishing we knew what it held for our families. We don't need a heads up about what this year will hold as much as we need to hold on to the one in control of this new year.




                                        "The Gate of the Year"

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year,

"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown."

And he replied, "Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God;

That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!"